Four-year-old #1 holding out a gummy snack: Is this a Pygmy Marmoset?
Four-year-old #2: That’s a elephant!
Four-year-old #2’s mom: It’s an elephant.
Four-year-old #1: Ugh. I wanted a Pygmy Marmoset.
–Metro-North to Grand Central
Four-year-old #1 holding out a gummy snack: Is this a Pygmy Marmoset?
Four-year-old #2: That’s a elephant!
Four-year-old #2’s mom: It’s an elephant.
Four-year-old #1: Ugh. I wanted a Pygmy Marmoset.
–Metro-North to Grand Central
Ice cream truck guy to boy on scooter: How are you doing, little man?
Little boy to ice cream guy: How are you doing, faggot?
–Astoria, Queens
Teen: Oh my god! You’re sooo cool.
12-year-old ghetto kid, throwing snappers at him: Fuck you, cracka!
–President St, Park Slope
Overheard by: Lucian
Boy, 7: Who’s that guy again?
Mom: Which one?
Boy, 7: Subway.
Mother: Bernard Goetz.
–B48 bus
Little boy watching fireworks: Ew! You farted!
Little girl watching fireworks: No I didn't!
Little boy watching fireworks: Then what was that sound coming from your butt?
–Hudson River Park & 24th St
Overheard by: Eric Schneider
White trash woman to angry boyfriend: Stop! I'm in my car and I love myself! I love myself! Fuck you if you don't love yourself! Tyra says to love yourself, and I love myself!
–49th & 11th
Conductor: Passengers, as you all know the New Haven line is known as the Love Line, because of our red colors and red schedules. For Valentine's Day why not buy a loved one a ticket? Nothing says "I love you" like a Metro North ticket! Imagine the look on your mother-in-law's face when she opens up her present to find a one way trip to Manhattan!
–Metro North Train
Sorority girl: And this is a list of all the girls who love Jell-o.
–St. John's University
Overheard by: Peter G
Guy on Bluetooth: What did I say? I said I love you and you didn't fucking say anything back. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?
–Jackson Heights
Excited black guy to friend: Damn! I think I'm in love, she's like the whole package! She's pretty, she's fuckable, and she can cook!
–A Train
Overheard by: Tim
Little boy leaving the church: Bye, Jesus! I love you!
–Riverside Church
Overheard by: Stephanie
Guy: What would you do if you had plans and then your sister had a baby?
Friend: Ummm… I’d go be with my sister.
Guy: Well, I wouldn’t.
–N train
Overheard by: Katie
12-year-old kid: Shit, man, dem niggas isn’t shit.
Friend: Mmm-hm.
12-year-old kid: Shit, man… Man, I kill bofth dem niggas!
Friend: Mmm-hm, and I’d do it witcha.
12-year-old kid: Mmm-hm.
–188th & Hoffman, Bronx
Overheard by: why do i go to school in the Bronx?
Little girl: Mommy, I don’t want to go to that camp. They worship the devil there.
Mom: Oh, no, that’s just a silly song. Every camp has something silly like that that they do.
Little girl: But Mommy, they sing a song that goes, ‘I love the devil.’
Mom: When you get there you’ll see it’s just a funny game. All kids like to play little games like that.
–Union Square
Eight-year-old girl with babysitter seeing mom on the street: Mommy, why do you smell like alcohol?
Mom: Because it’s Tuesday, sweetie.
–Franklin & Broadway
Overheard by: Carleesto
