20-something trendy gangster: I'm just there for looks, you know? (pause) I'm like the sculpture of David, chiseled and beautiful.

University of Arizona

Vaguely thuggish flight attendant: Aiiight, y'all, welcome aboard United Airlines…don't know the flight number, but we're going to Detroit, and that's all that matters.

Delayed Flight from Washington, DC

Overheard by: keeeeem

Huge gangsta boy: Maaaan, gimme a hug!
Preppy white friend: What?! No!
Huge gansta boy: What the fuck, man, just gimme a goddam hug!

High School
Nashville, Tennessee

Wannabe thug, carrying Celtics flag: First I'm gonna get blood on it, and then ash!

Portsmouth, New Hampshire

Boy watching Indiana Jones: Why are the Nazis always the bad guys?
Thug: Who are they supposed to be?

Flowing Wells High School
Tucson, Arizona

Ned to another, in thick Scottish accent: My pal's not well. His brain doesn't float around. It's stuck to his head, like.


Overheard by: Still wondering what it could be

New Yorker: So how do you like it down here?
Local thug: If it weren't for the double d breasts and sexy feet, I would've gotten the hell out of here years ago.

Fayetteville, North Carolina

Thug #1: Everybody calls that girl “Orangutan titties.”
Thug #2: What? Why?
Thug #1: She's the one that flashed everybody back in freshman year at that one assembly, and her titties be all pointy and shit.
Thug #2: I remember that shit, that was pretty fuckin' funny.
Thug #3 (after a long pause): Man, orangutans are fuckin' weird.
Thug #1: Yeah, monkeys be fucked up.

MDN High School, Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: I saw this whole assembly thing, too.

Thug: Damn, mami — look at them curves on you!
Ethnic chick: Sorry, boys, I have an arranged marriage. I’m kind of tied down to my fiancé [shows ring].
Thug: Come on, mami, let us sit down.
Blonde sorority girl #1: Sorry, gentlemen, we’re just trying to eat our food here. God bless. [Thugs look at her awkwardly and walk away.]Blonde sorority girl #2, very confused: Why did you just say ‘God bless’ to them?
Blonde sorority girl #1: What? It’s what you say to homeless people.

Leo’s Coney Island
Birmingham, Michigan

Overheard by: Jamie

Thug #1: New England is a state!
Thug #2: New England is a country!
Thug #1: Naw, it’s a state. You know — New York, New Jersey, New England!
Thug #3: You both crazy. New England is a city! It got an NFL team — the New England Patriots!
Thug #1: Naw, man, they sometimes be namin’ teams after states, like Minnesota Vikings and Seattle Seahawks…
Thug #3: Hmmm… You right. Oh! Maybe New England be both a city and a state, like New York, New York! New England, New England!
Thug #1: That gotta be it. I knows New England is a state…

Mall pizza place
Buffalo, New York

Overheard by: Snoopy