Teen boy #1: He has 3 taps in his shower. One cold water, another hot, and one for mustard.
Teen boy #2: I like mustard.
Teen boy #1: In the shower?
–Q43 bus
Overheard by: Sucka MC
Teen boy #1: He has 3 taps in his shower. One cold water, another hot, and one for mustard.
Teen boy #2: I like mustard.
Teen boy #1: In the shower?
–Q43 bus
Overheard by: Sucka MC
Teen girl: This one’s kind of cross-eyed.
Teen guy: They’re porn star action figures. What do you want?
Teen girl: I want them to be just as hot as the real thing…and I want them to be glistening.
–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Place
Teen boy #1: When I get drunk and high, I get angry. When I get drunk, I get loud. When I get high, I get tired.
Teen boy #2: I can’t believe you expect me to dignify that with a response.
Teen boy #1: I don’t.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Shannon Bowman-Sarkisian
Alt girl: So his second cousin is also his dad. That’s fucking mashed up.
–Times Square
Teen girl: You sure it’s his, right? He didn’t take his cock out or nuthin’?
–Laundry room, 108th & 2nd
Overheard by: CK Allen
Chick: Yeah, so I’ve been making out with my stepcousin lately.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Kam Truhn
Woman: Oh my god, I love my cat. My cat is my reason for living. My cat is like a dog, only in cat form…
–34th & 8th
Hawker guy: AM New York! The rooster of newspapers! Find out why I’m a cock-a-doodle-do-ing!
–42nd & Lexington
Suit on cell: I can’t wait to get back to Boston. This town is like an elephant graveyard for my exes. Yeah, instead of elephants, all my exes come here to rest.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Matt Murdock
Girl: I hit a firefly driving up there and my windshield was all gooey, slimy and shiny…so I thought of you.
–Washington Square
Queer: Ohmigod, I thought that was the ugliest baby in the world, but it’s a bulldog.
–West 4th & Cornelia
Overheard by: Raphael
Girl: I’ve never been pooped on. At least not by a bird.
–71st & 1st
Guy: …yes, I’m going to put that in my octopus.
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Jenny + Pete
Girl: Whoa, it smells like hamster piss right here.
–1st & 1st
Teen boy: Man, next time I see him, it’s over. I’ll throw worms on his ass if I have to.
–Fordham Road
Crazy guy: Want to see my website? It’ll cost you. Want to see it? $100. Naw, you don’t have that sort of money. I need to jazz it up. It has pictures of dead animals on it.
–D train
Overheard by: Taybin Rutkin
Teen girl: Oh, this is our stop!
Teen boy: Well, it would be if we were on the right train!
Teen girl: If you don’t like it, you can just stop following us.
–1 train
Overheard by: Rachel Rappaport
2 Black teens sit at a table together, comparing the shopping they’ve just done. One gets up to ask for a cigarette from a middle-aged Asian dude sitting nearby. The Asian dude ignores the teen.
Black teen #1: Man, I hate Chinese people.
Black teen #2: Yo son, watch what you’re saying. Look around you.
Black teen #1: I don’t give a shit, man! I fucking hate
Chinese people.
Black teen #2: Besides, I’m pretty sure they’re Korean.
–Greenstreets, 32nd & Broadway
Overheard by: enkie
Teen boy: If we get a family plan we can talk for free.
Dad: I don’t want to talk to anyone, whether it’s free or not.
–78th & Broadway
Teen girl: Like, I thought he was Jewish but then he ate a gyro so I dumped him.
Teen boy: That’s rough. Did he have it with that white sauce?
Teen girl: What difference does that make? Shit, you’re dumb.
–F train
Overheard by: Steph Gold
Teen thug #1: Damn! You ever read A Streetcar Named Desire?
Teen thug #2: Yeah, Stanley Kowalski. That dumb Polack.
–Williamsburg
