Man running by with dog to teenage girl: Woof!
Teenage girl to friend: He better have been talking to the dog.
–Central Park
Man running by with dog to teenage girl: Woof!
Teenage girl to friend: He better have been talking to the dog.
–Central Park
Loud teen chick: You know, whenever I saw those really loud, annoying kids on the bus, I never thought I would be one of them!
Loud friend: Yeah! Me neither!
–82nd & Broadway
Overheard by: yoncto
Teen boy #1: Hey mister, does this train go to Manhattan?
Man: I think it’s supposed to, but the N’s messed up right now.
Teen boy #2: Yeah, the N train’s totally gay.
Man: Yeah, and not in the good way.
–Queensboro Plaza station
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Young teen #1: Nah, man! I refuse to compromise my morals and values for some girl!
Young teen #2: C’mon, man, just come with us.
Young teen #1: No! I refuse to walk into a fucking bookstore!
–Outside Strand Bookstore, Union Square
Overheard by: Avid Book Reader
Teen: I think I wanna be a cameraman when I grow up.
Little girl: I wanna be an armadillo when I grow up.
Teen: You can’t be an armadillo when you grow up!
Little girl: Why not?
–40th St & Park
Overheard by: Crysta
Teen girl #1: Well, what’s more important right now? Going to the movies or getting stoned?
Teen girl #2: God, I don’t know…It’s ten dollars either way.
–Columbus Circle station
Overheard by: djlindee
Black teen: So, what you say your name was?
Hispanic teen: Irving.
Black teen: Irving? How you be Puerto Rican and have a name like ‘Irving’? Hi, my name’s Irving… That’s fucked up.
Hispanic teen: Yeah, Puerto Ricans name their kids some crazy shit.
–4 train
Overheard by: Oy-ving
Headline by: not irving
Runners-Up:
· “Anyway, I Be Seein’ You, LaQuan.” – Mysteron
· “At Least He Can Pronounce His” – Krisztina
· “Because Getting Your Ass Kicked in Elementary School Makes You Stronger” – cda
· “Don’t You Agree, Daquanjalomarterius?” – Karyn
· “Kind Of Like Being Named After the Car You Were Conceived In, Corolla.” – Gunther
· “Yeah, If I Had Your Parents, My Name Would Be Anferny…” – BG
Teenybopper #1: Ugh… I hate those overly-proud Hispanics!
Teenybopper #2: They drive me insane! They’re like, ‘Oh my god, Papi, 100 percent Boricua! Holla at me!’
Teenybopper #1: Why can’t they speak good English?
Hispanic woman: I believe you mean to say, ‘Why can’t they speak English well?’
Teen boy: Owned!
–L train
Overheard by: Laughing to myself
Teen girl: If you want to lose weight, watch a lot of porn. I'm serious, if you watch porn, you won't have to eat for hours. Oh, and masturbating burns a lot of calories, too.
–Brooklyn
Very upset drunk hobo, after conductor announces last stop: Your kickin' all these people out to wait for the next train, just so you can jerk off?
–Bowling Green Station
Street dancer: Everyone on earth was born as a result of an orgasm. Everyone masturbates. And if they say they don't, they're lying. Even the Pope masturbates!
–Union Square
Irish dude, throwing tea to the ground: It's not right, man! Asshole masturbated in my tea!
–Outside Starbucks
Teen thug: I wanna pleasure myself while writing an essay, what's the problem with that?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Robert G.
Teen girl #1: So what are you gonna be for Halloween?
Teen girl #2: I dunno, something creative.
Teen girl #1: Yeah, me too. I'm gonna be a cheerleader.
–Dunkin' Donuts, Queens
