Girl: Sorry, I’m trying to be as French as possible.
French guy: Oh, I’m from Bawsten.
–N train
Overheard by: c. dubs
The train pulls out of the underground. Three Hispanic teens look outside.
Hispanic teen #1: You can’t see the Eiffel Tower from here?
They continue looking for a good twenty seconds.
Hispanic teen #2: That shit’s in Paris, yo!
–F train
Overheard by: Daniel Radosh
Teenage girl #1: My dad is so weird. He like, listens to albums where people wear blackface.
Teenage girl #2: Is he, like, a Nazi?
Teenage girl #1: No, he grew up in the South.
–Ceci-Cela, Chambers Street
Overheard by: Jon Edelman
Girl #1: I asked for liposuction for graduation.
Girl #2: Where?
Girl #1: In my ass.
Girl #2: Did you get it?
Girl #1: No. But I’m happy with the car.
–The Equitable Building, Broadway & Pine
Overheard by: Fletch
Teen boy: I’m sorry my vagina is so disgusting.
Teen girl: Me too. I’m sorry it doesn’t make you happy.
Teen boy: Me fucking too. It was crying today. Could you hear it?
Teen girl: Yeah, I could see tears falling out of your pants.
–Times Square
Hobo: Hello, ladies and gentlemen! How are you all today? My name is Sonny Payne–
Teen girl: And you’re just a Payne in the ass!
–F train
Overheard by: Nicole A.
Hobo: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen–
Woman: Ah God, I can’t take it this early.
–9 train
Teen girl #1: I never got that expression, “back of my hand”.
Teen girl #2: It’s not “back of my hand”, it’s “back of my head”.
Teen girl #1: Really?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, because the back of your head is where you, like, know stuff.
–1 train
Teen boy #1: Yo, your mustache is done, dude! Look, it’s filled all the way in!
Teen boy #2: Yeah, I know! But my mom’s making me shave it.
–1/9 train
Overheard by: Alex
Teenage girl: So do you get it now?!
Dad: I know honey…J. Lo.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Katia
Guy: That’s crazy, man. That’s worse than crazy, that’s fucking psychotic! Seventy dollars for a fucking permit. Seventy, eighty dollars for a moving violation, that I understand. But seventy dollars for a fucking permit? The fucking well is running dry!
–Prospect Avenue station
Overheard by: Alison
Teen girl: Let’s order together but have them put it in separate bags. We’ll pay less tax that way.
–Wendy’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Nathan Kipe
Tourist:…no, really! The streets are so clean!
–24th & Broadway
Overheard by: Manhattman
Teenage boy: I really need a girlfriend.
Teenage girl: Why?
Teenage boy: ‘Cause they’re all sweet and soft and crap.
Teenage girl: Go out with Marla. She’s soft.
Teenage boy: No, that’s not soft; that’s obesity.
–N train
