Girl #1: Whoa man, you look totally creepy. Like a creepy molester.
Girl #2: It’s a molestache!
–B-Side, Avenue B
Girl #1: Whoa man, you look totally creepy. Like a creepy molester.
Girl #2: It’s a molestache!
–B-Side, Avenue B
Girl: …So I asked him, “Do you speak German?” and he was like, “The only German I speak is: men to the left, women and children to the
right.” And I said, “Dude, you’ve been watching too much Schindler’s List!”
–13th Street between 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Joe Quint
A girl and guy are making out on the street.
Guy: I gotta go.
Girl: Wait, come back.
Guy: I’m busy.
Girl: What’s your name?
Guy: Bill.
Girl: How can I get in touch with you?
Guy: Google it.
–11th Street & 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Guy #1: Tell me something exciting. I need to live vicariously. All I do is work.
Guy #2: In Paris, a criminal on rollerblades sucked my dick.
–Houston between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: kevin redman
Woman #1: But you know, you can’t really see Angela Lansbury.
Woman #2: I know what you mean.
–19th & 5th
Overheard by: Peter Knutson
Woman on cell: Little did I know you can’t keep charging if you never pay the bill.
–Union Square West
Overheard by: Maggie and David
Queer on cell: Wear tights…No, you don’t pad it! You just push it up so it looks like a big baked potato, like what dancers do. Just hike it up to the sky!…The bits and the pieces. It’s not very comfortable, but it gives a good visual effect of…mass…What? Pointy? Ew, no! Pointy’s bad! Yich, pointy is such a turnoff.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michele
Guy: I’m so fucking sweaty. I’m getting all chafed again!
Girl: Aw, where?
Guy: On my cock.
Girl: Un your calf? That is so horr-
Guy: No, no, on my cock.
Girl: Chafed on your what?
Guy: My cock is chafed. Christ.
–Union Square
Man: I never realized how homoerotic the Bible is.
Woman: It’s not supposed to be.
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Tourist lady: Does this N train go Kings Highway?
Teen girl: Yeah, it goes to Kings Highway.
Tourist lady: Does it go to the Q-line Kings Highway?
Teen girl: It goes to the N-line Kings Highway.
–Union Square station
