Union Square and East Village

Queer: Can you hold this shirt for me ’til tomorrow?
Shop trannie: No, we can’t put costumes on hold.
Queer: Well, I want to be, like, this Louis XIV go-go boy, and I already got the short shorts and everything, and this shirt would go perfect but I just can’t afford it ’til tomorrow.

–Halloween Adventure, 4th Avenue

Overheard by: sharyn jackson

Girl: Do you have any more slut-nurses?
Counter guy: No, we’re all out of slut-nurses, but we have some slut-devils and some slut-flight attendents.

–Ricky’s, 8th Avenue

Overheard by: Josh Caldwell

Guy: What’s she going as for Halloween?
Girl: A newsie.
Guy: Oh.
Girl: I knew she’d steal my idea, stupid ho-bag.

–Elevator, Water Street Residence

Overheard by: Dan & Travis

Guy: I’ve always loved this mask, it’s so cool.
Girl: Yeah, I guess.
Guy: I mean, I guess I should, considering…
Girl: Right.
Guy: I mean, I was in the movie.
Girl: That was like a decade ago.
Guy: So?
Girl: Yeah, but you were a fucking extra. And you didn’t even have a single line.

–Ricky’s, 22nd & 3rd

Guy: What is this, All Harlots’ Eve?

–3rd Avenue & 8th Street

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Girl #1: I actually showered before I saw you today, aren’t you impressed?
Girl #2: Uh, yeah.
Girl #1: Yeah, I had to…I smelled like old sex.

–Republic, Union Square

Overheard by: Sasha

Teen boy: Wow, look, another homeless guy! They’re all over!

–21st & Park

Hipster chick on cell: If it’s a vampire party then I’d totally be out of place because I don’t look anything like a vampire tonight, I’m wearing, like, a blue kimono.

–2nd & A

A bunch of people walk by a guy peeing.

Guy: Don’t fucking look at my penis!

–St. Marks

Two teens are watching Jeopardy! through a store glass window.

Teen boy #1: I can read lips; that guy said he liked to suck cock.
Teen boy #2: You mean, “What is, ‘I like to suck cock’?”

–14th & B

Overheard by: meghan

Hobo: Hey dude, got a drink?
Guy: No, man. If I gave you a drink I’d be enabling you. You know what that is? I’ll be helping you by not getting you a drink.
Hobo: You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

–St. Marks & 1st

Overheard by: Jasmine Moy

Drunk girl: Can you tell me where 3rd and 12th is?
Guy: You’re standing on it.
Drunk girl: Do you know where Bar None is?
Guy: Right under that huge Bar None sign.

–3rd Avenue between 12th & 13th

Overheard by: kristcollekt

Black teen boy #1: What the hell is this?
Black teen boy #2: What are you, stupid? This is what they call
misinterpretive dancing.

–Union Square

Black guy: Man, nigga, you’re really dirty. I mean, you’re a slob, nigga. You’re…you’re a fucking Mexican.

–Union Square