Wednesday One‐Liners Say It, But They Don’t Really Mean It

Queer to hipster chick: Honey, you’re not a hipster! … I’m sorry I said that.

–New School University

Overheard by: smoon

Hobo: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could help me out. If you could give me just one penny, I’d really appreciate it. [Yuppie woman hands him a quarter.] I asked for one penny. You gave me 24 cents too much [hands the quarter back and walks away].

–Brooklyn‐bound F train

Conservatively‐dressed lady: I’m so sorry! My birth canal was showing!

–Atlantic Ave & Clinton St

Overheard by: amalthya & schizo

Dude on cell: I didn’t know you wanted to become priest… What?! You have to go through all that shit just to be a deacon?! My god! … Sorry man, I didn’t mean it like that…

–Union Square

Man on cell: I’m sorry, but I’m in New Jersey right now… When? Okay, Monday night… Of course I’ll be there, you have my word.

–M14 bus, Ave A

Lady suit: Now I am totally sorry I stalked you — it was so not worth the effort.

−−47−50 Rockefeller Center train station

Overheard by: SandmanEsq

Posted on January 10, 2023
Hobos, Liars, Lies, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, Queer guys, Suits, Union Square and East Village

Each Has Its Own Heartbeat

Girl #1: I love Alex’s toes. They are like little bulbous fingers.
Girl #2: Oh my god, you would love Susan’s toes…

–16^th St & Union Square West

Posted on January 9, 2023
Body Parts, Girls, Rumor Has It, Union Square and East Village

Readers: Answer This Overheard Rhetorical Question

Woman on cell: Well what did you expect? Did you think you could just go into the subway and get a million bucks playing your guitar?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Domi

Posted on January 3, 2023
Cell Phone, Hippies, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Train Station, Union Square and East Village

Someone’s Gotta Field All Those Calls

Queer: Where does Dusty work?
Girl: At a church by Spring Street.
Queer: What does he do?
Girl: He’s an administrative assistant.
Queer: An administrative assistant to God?

–Union Square

Posted on January 1, 2023
History & Geography, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, NYC Geography, People, Places, Queers, Religion, Union Square and East Village

You Complete Me, Wednesday One‐Liners

Blonde coed: After he finished yelling at me for a solid ten minutes, he’s like, “So, do you want to be my girlfriend?”

–3^rd Ave & 11^th St

Overheard by: simon

Middle school girl to boy: I don’t normally get with sixth graders, but you’re different…

–10^th St & 1^st Ave

Woman on cell: You are not listening to me. (pause) When you say whatever it is you’re bitching about’, I know that you are not actually listening to me.

–Riverside Park

Guy on cell: I don’t treat you quite as bad as you say.

–Amtrak

Overheard by: Flooey

Boyfriend, about girlfriend enthusiastically cheering on Colbert: Why don’t you scream like that for me?

–The Colbert Report Set

Party girl to friend: So I asked my priest, and he said “I think you should see other people.”

–Park Ave & 29^th St

Overheard by: petey

Posted on December 22, 2022
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Christianity, Compliments, Elementary & Middle School, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Guys, Kids, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Relationships, School and studying, Students, Trains Not Subway, TV, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Full of Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing

Girl #1: Taxi! Taxi! Arrrgh!
Girl #2: Oh, oh, here, it’s stopping. Oh, wait, no, it’s not.
Girl #3: Did he just honk at us? That was, like, a whirlwind of emotion.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Leslie G.

Posted on December 15, 2022
Girls, Public Transportation, Union Square and East Village

Janet Reno Day One‐Liners

Short thug, holding baby, yelling at indie girl outside deli: My baby don’t like you! Don’t you ever come near my baby again! She thinks you got a ugly face!

–176^th & Broadway

Overheard by: emily d.

Older woman to young couple proudly pushing baby stroller: That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!

–2^nd Ave & 10^th St

Tourist to another: I thought New York was supposed to be filled with good‐looking people. My god, everyone here is so ugly!

–Midtown Bar

Husband to wife: Why do we always get ugly German nannies? Always! Why?

–Broadway & 13^th St

Posted on December 14, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Body Parts, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Delis, Foreigners, Girls, Gripes, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Questions, Street, The Village, Thugs, Tourism, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners

Yooo…I Fuckin’…Fuckin’ Blacked Out at Midnight…Lost My Fuckin’ Glass Slipper…Shit…I Was Wasted

Girl: Don’t let her drink after midnight. Make her go home. Are you listening to me? Don’t let her drink after midnight!
Man: Am I supposed to keep her away from sunlight and not get her wet either?
Girl: What? What are you? Fine! You get the deal with her mess!

–15^th St & Union Square East

Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson

Posted on December 11, 2022
Advice, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Men, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weather, Weirdness

Raises Hand

Customer: Yeah, can I get one for the movie where the girl’s vagina has teeth?
Box office cashier: Sorry, sir, this show’s sold out. The next one’s at 8:25.
Customer: Sold out? How many people actually want to see a movie where a girl’s vagina has teeth?

–City Cinemas, 12^th St & 2^nd Ave

Overheard by: SplendidConfusion

Posted on November 23, 2022
Cashiers, Customers, Default, Movie Theaters, Movies, Offers and requests, Questions, Teeth, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Weirdness

Union Square and East Village

Janet Reno Day One‐Liners