Young black girl: What are all them white people doing all the way up here?
Young black girl’s mother: White folk like to drink out of little cups and sit outside with them bug‐eyed sunglasses on Sundays.
–Café, Lenox & 119th
Young black girl: What are all them white people doing all the way up here?
Young black girl’s mother: White folk like to drink out of little cups and sit outside with them bug‐eyed sunglasses on Sundays.
–Café, Lenox & 119th
Suit: My dick was totally in one hand pissing while I was talking to the client.
–48th & Madison
Ghetto chick: Excuse me! Excuse me! What’s the name of the towers that got knocked down?
Incredulous passerby: Umm … The World Trade Center.
Ghetto chick to thug boyfriend: See! I told you it wasn’t none of that twin towers. You thinking of Lord of the Rings.
–Vesey St
Ghetto girl: Man, I can’t believe he did this! I mean, we was in this relationship for like two weeks, and now he be tryin’ to dump me! He was all, “Yeah, we’re over.” I was like, “What you talkin’ about?” Then he was all, “I’m taking you off my Top 8.“
Passerby: He took you off his Top 8? Oh, hell, no.
–Baryshnikov Arts Center
Overheard by: random dancer
Little kid: Hey, mom, look! You can see the moon!
Ghetto mom: Shut up! You can’t see no moon when the sun out. Sit down ‘fore I bust yo little ass!
Little kid: But I can see the moon!
Nice older lady to kid: You’re right, honey. You can see the moon when the sun is out. The moon is bright because of the sun.
Kid to mom: See, I told you I could see the moon?
Ghetto mom: That bitch lyin’!
–A Train
Overheard by: innocent mta customer
Ghetto girl #1: I’ma fuck her up! I’ma cut that bitch!
Ghetto boy: You gon’ kill her?
Ghetto girl #1: Nah, I’ma cut her!
Ghetto girl #2: You can’t do that, thas’ ya ex!
Ghetto girl #1: Exactly! Thas’ why I’ma fuck her up. She broke up with me!
–G Train
Black girl #1: Damn, girl! You're hairy! I dunno if it's cause I'm light-skinned, you're hairy!
Black girl #2: Thanks. Thanks... (walks away)
Black girl #1: You're like a werewolf!
--H&M Dressing Room, Queens Center Mall
Overheard by: hoping shes not a werewolf too...
A thugged out girl tests all of her ring tones as loud as possible for a solid minute.
Preppy girl: Are you serious with that? Can you do everyone a favor and stop?
Thug girl: I know you’re not talking to me. You messed with the wrong girl.
Preppy girl: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Your screaming phone made me deaf.
Thug girl: I’ll f her up. But then she’ll call the cops; her people love the cops. Go back to where you came from!
Preppy girl: I’m trying to. That’s why I’m on the train, you stupid bitch. Look, you got a new cell phone and that’s great, but figure it out at home.
Thug girl: I’ll f you up. You’re f‑ing with the wrong girl. Don’t be fooled by the pretty face.
Preppy girl: Pretty face? Where?
–N train
Overheard by: Matty M.
Teen ghetto girl: If you had a daughter…
Teen ghetto boy: If I had a daughter, there ain’t no way she’d be leavin’ the house with them short shorts and shit. And she fo’ sho’ wouldn’t be playin’ with them barbies. Barbies is evil. They mess with girls’ brains, makin’ them think they need to show off their shit and have babies when theys like 15. No barbies. Only puzzles.
–Manhattan bound N train
Overheard by: lauren
Suit on cell: Nah, don’t even bother callin’ that fuckin’ guy. At 4:59 he pulls the steam whistle and slides down the Brontosaurus tail.
–45th & 7th
Overheard by: Fred F.
Homegirl to another: Yo, you remind me of my nigga, SpongeBob!
–125th & Amsterdam
20‐something babe: Optimus Prime is my boyfriend!
–Union Square cinema
Suit: The winter after I graduated college I watched a lot of Cartoon Network.
–8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: jonesy
Girl: Yeah, you know, it’s just like the time I dyed myself blue, only the guy I was with was colorblind so he couldn’t even tell! Hey, haven’t you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be a Smurf?
–1 train
Fat professor: In order to avoid economic loss you have to look deeper than the average bear.
–Pace University
Overheard by: random student
