Girl: Stop staring, pervert.
Guy: You ain’t all that hot.
Girl: I am not a hamburger! You can’t eat me!
–3 train
Overheard by: Jose
Girl: Stop staring, pervert.
Guy: You ain’t all that hot.
Girl: I am not a hamburger! You can’t eat me!
–3 train
Overheard by: Jose
Black girl #1: Do you know what RSVP stands for?
Black girl #2: Respond as soon as possible?
Black girl #1: No, stupid it’s r.s.v.p.. It stands for repond s’il vous plait, it’s French.
Black girl #2: Spell it!
Black girl #1: R-e-s-p-o-n-d c-i v-u p-l-a-y. Don’t you know anything.
–4 train
Girl #1: Where have you been lately?
Girl #2: I’ve been with Caesar.
Girl #3: Yo, you’ve been skipping school for a week. What the fuck up with that?
Girl #2: Caesar has been treating me nice. Yo, he got a nice dick and we’ve been fucking every day.
Girl #1: Yo, you better be using protection or you going to be having little Caesars running around.
Girl #2: Yo, we do it raw ’cause he says rubbers don’t feel good on his dick.
Girl #3: Shit, bitch, you better watch yourself.
Old lady: Stop! Stop this talk! You should be ashamed of yourself. You must go to the clinic and get yourself checked out. Look at you! Your friends are ashamed of you! They can’t even look at you! You must go to the clinic and get yourself checked out. You should be ashamed.
–M4 bus
Mom: Why don’t you like to play with Tommy? He likes to play with you when you get home from school.
Little girl: I’m very busy, you know. At 6:00, I eat dinner. At 7:00, I brush my teeth. At 8:00, I do my homework. At 9:00 I go to bed. I’m sorry, but Tommy will just have to take a number.
–M14 bus
Chick #1: Y’all heard Denelle pregnant?
Chick #2: Damn, I can’t imagine tryin ta have no baby. If I had a baby then I couldn’t hang out wit y’all no more.
Chick #3: Shit, we need to git you a man, then. I’m tired o’ yo broke ass!
–D train
Ghetto queer: …my favorite author is Patricia Cromwell. Her books are insane! They’re all about murder. It gets so crazy that the FBI even gets involved and shit! She’s my girl.
Ghetto chick: I like urban novels.
Ghetto queer: What’s that?
Ghetto chick: You know, like reality. Stuff about life on the streets.
Ghetto queer: Mmm…I can’t get into that. I got enough reality in my life. But my sister is getting me into this vampire stuff.
–G train
Overheard by: Jim
Ghetto girl calling out pedestrians’ costumes: Rainbow Brite! Sonny and Cher! Pirates of the Caribbean! Bob Marley! Officer!
Cop: Ma’am?
Ghetto girl: Oh, you really a cop.
–Village Halloween Parade
Overheard by: Dressed as a pedestrian
Woman #1: So I told him, “Nigga, you can’t touch none of this!”
Woman #2: Ha, ha. Girl, what you need is a horse dick!
–125th & Lexington
Overheard by: Johnny Tremain
Nerdy white boy whose homework just blew away in the wind: Dang!
Ghetto girl: Looks like you ain’t doin’ yo’ math homework tonight, nigga!
–7 train
Overheard by: Jodi
Girl on cell: You keep talking over me–it makes me want to punch you in the uterus.
–Ray's Pizza, 52 & 8th
Overheard by: Jarett
Guy to friend: You keep referring to me as "that guy" and we'll see how long you stay conscious.
–33rd & 7th
Nervous man seated against the wall: I don't like this seat. I don't like sitting here. I like to sit on the aisle. What if there's a fight? I don't want to be trapped in a place with a fight.
–Off-Broadway Theatre
Overheard by: Hannah
Ghetto chick: Can't you get somebody else to fuck him up? Why you gotta do it?
–W Train
Overheard by: sara n.
Man: He was trying to turn his alcoholism into a positive thing instead of attacking the guy who raped his sister.
–The Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: Slightly confused, yet intrigued…
Girl on cell: Remember that time you got into a fight with an inch worm?
–Chambers St
Overheard by: Shooty
Girl #1: Man, I ain’t know that that girl was gay.
Girl #2: Say what? All those times when we were laying together in the bed with no clothes on?! Man, that’s not happenin’ no more, lesbo!
–N train
