Queer #1: The thing about sexuality is…
Queer #2: No! Were you gay when you were a prostitute?
–3rd St & 7th Ave
Queer #1: The thing about sexuality is…
Queer #2: No! Were you gay when you were a prostitute?
–3rd St & 7th Ave
Girl: Oh! Did I tell you? Karen* had an orgasm from anal!
Queer: You guys can can do that too?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Sean, not queer but not straight
Dude: He’s the black, blind Motown equivalent of Kenny G.
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Girl, while leaving screening of “I am legend”: Okay… I cannot believe the woman did not know Bob Marley! I mean, that had to be the most unrealistic thing in that entire film.
–Fresh Meadows, Queens
Overheard by: hmmm…
Curly‐haired chick: Has New Order become an okay kinky sex background band? Am I *old*?
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Poogins
Guy, standing next to guy listening to Journey on his iPod: Get away from me! Just get the fuck away from me!
–2 Train
Dumb girl dressed like Scary Spice en route to the concert: Yeah, a lot of people think that the Spice Girls like, reinstated feminism.
–NJ Transit
Yale grad: Eminem has a wonderful sense of meter.
–Court St., Brooklyn
Overheard by: Justin Casement
Queer: We only stayed for 15 minutes, I’m not that into karaoke. And when a coven of lesbians start casting their spells to “My Sharona”, I was outta there.”
–Chambers & Greenwich
Overheard by: Grand Witch Muffy
Hipster girl: Look, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grader.
–Union Pool, Brooklyn
Vain fag, looking at pants: I really love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this summer…
–LIRR
Guy wearing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d never wear crocs. They’re ugly.
–Forest Hills Gardens, Queens
Overheard by: Aloof Loner
Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on ourselves.
–Bloomingdale’s
Disembodied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stomach and then it makes a little V‑neck pouch for your vagina. I hate that shit!
–Fitting Rooms, Gap in Herald Square
Overheard by: Zarya
[Waiting in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawling her eyes out: Sorry, I ordered this jacket, and it’s two sizes too big!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Tracy
Queer: New York is a gay‐Jewish city; of course everybody complains!
–6 train
Overheard by: Secondhand Nose
Twink #1: What’s that place across the street like?
Twink #2: Ugh. A total Foley bar.
Twink #1: Ew.
–Outside The Hanger Bar, Christopher St
Overheard by: Joe Jervis
Hipster girl: You know, you really should try reading something with more substance… Like War and Peace.
Queer, flipping through fashion mag: ‘Warm Piece’? Is that, like, porn?
Hipster girl: I said, War. And. Peace.
Queer: Okay, I’m not reading any magazine I’ve never even heard of.
–F train
Overheard by: Kathy Iandoli
Guy on cell: Oh my god, can you see my cornhole? Well, does it at least look good? I went with him to Two Boots. I feel like I’m completely impacted. I might have to get three colonics.
Girl with him, after he hangs up: Oh my god, I really need a boyfriend.
–Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery
Guy #1: His schlong was so long!
Guy #2: Did you get HIV?
Guy #1: No, I tested myself. You stick the thing in your butt for, like, five minutes like a thermometer. It feels so good.
–Washington Square Park
Queer: Hey! Nice tits!
Morbidly obese fag hag: Hey, thanks!
–Metropolitan & Humboldt
Overheard by: dani d
