Queer guys

Queer #1: The thing about sexuality is…
Queer #2: No! Were you gay when you were a prostitute?

–3rd St & 7th Ave

Girl: Oh! Did I tell you? Karen* had an orgasm from anal!
Queer: You guys can can do that too?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Sean, not queer but not straight

Dude: He’s the black, blind Motown equivalent of Kenny G.

–113th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Girl, while leaving screening of “I am legend”: Okay… I cannot believe the woman did not know Bob Marley! I mean, that had to be the most unrealistic thing in that entire film.

–Fresh Meadows, Queens

Overheard by: hmmm…

Curly‐haired chick: Has New Order become an okay kinky sex background band? Am I *old*?

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Poogins

Guy, standing next to guy listening to Journey on his iPod: Get away from me! Just get the fuck away from me!

–2 Train

Dumb girl dressed like Scary Spice en route to the concert: Yeah, a lot of people think that the Spice Girls like, reinstated feminism.

–NJ Transit

Yale grad: Eminem has a wonderful sense of meter.

–Court St., Brooklyn

Overheard by: Justin Casement

Queer: We only stayed for 15 minutes, I’m not that into karaoke. And when a coven of lesbians start casting their spells to “My Sharona”, I was outta there.”

–Chambers & Greenwich

Overheard by: Grand Witch Muffy

Hipster girl: Look, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grader.

–Union Pool, Brooklyn

Vain fag, looking at pants: I really love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this summer…


Guy wearing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d never wear crocs. They’re ugly.

–Forest Hills Gardens, Queens

Overheard by: Aloof Loner

Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on ourselves.


Disembodied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stomach and then it makes a little V‑neck pouch for your vagina. I hate that shit!

–Fitting Rooms, Gap in Herald Square

Overheard by: Zarya

[Waiting in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawling her eyes out: Sorry, I ordered this jacket, and it’s two sizes too big!


Overheard by: Tracy

Queer: New York is a gay‐Jewish city; of course everybody complains! 

–6 train

Overheard by: Secondhand Nose

Twink #1: What’s that place across the street like?
Twink #2: Ugh. A total Foley bar.
Twink #1: Ew.

–Outside The Hanger Bar, Christopher St

Overheard by: Joe Jervis

Hipster girl: You know, you really should try reading something with more substance… Like War and Peace.
Queer, flipping through fashion mag: ‘Warm Piece’? Is that, like, porn?
Hipster girl: I said, War. And. Peace.
Queer: Okay, I’m not reading any magazine I’ve never even heard of.

–F train

Overheard by: Kathy Iandoli

Guy on cell: Oh my god, can you see my cornhole? Well, does it at least look good? I went with him to Two Boots. I feel like I’m completely impacted. I might have to get three colonics.
Girl with him, after he hangs up: Oh my god, I really need a boyfriend.

–Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery

Guy #1: His schlong was so long!
Guy #2: Did you get HIV?
Guy #1: No, I tested myself. You stick the thing in your butt for, like, five minutes like a thermometer. It feels so good.

–Washington Square Park

Queer: Hey! Nice tits!
Morbidly obese fag hag: Hey, thanks!

–Metropolitan & Humboldt

Overheard by: dani d