We overheard that “You can’t go nowhere now without seeing faggots”.

Girl #1: So you mean he’s gay?!
Girl #2: Yeah, he’s gay, he’s gay, he’s gay, he’s gay!
Girl #3: Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god…
Girl #4: Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god…
Girl #2: He’s gay, he’s gay!

–81st St. B/C station

Overheard by: Tommy Wooh

Guy: But you have to promise, promise, promise, promise you won’t tell anyone.
Girl: I promise.
Guy: Yeah, but promise promise promise?
Girl: I promise promise!
Guy: All right. [Sam]’s gay.

–57th & 6th

Overheard by: Heather

Girl: Let’s get one thing straight…
Guy: I’m not.
Girl: Wait, what?…oh my fucking lord, everyone is fucking gay now! I’ll see you in hell.

–Soho

Posted on August 22, 2023
Bimbettes, Hell, Queer guys, Soho

…Though, Personally, I Prefer Darker Meat.

Older Hispanic gay man to guy in Subway sandwich costume: Uh sandwich, be careful someone doesn't eat you, darling.
Passers-by: (laugh)
Older Hispanic gay man: Whaaat? That's what you do to a saaandwich.

–9th & 2nd

Overheard by: eat me

Posted on July 16, 2023
Advice, Clerks, Food, Latinos, Laughter, Old People, Queer guys, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

There's Always Tension Between Tradition and Modernity

Queer: I hate that I missed your birthday.
Artsy girl: Brad, you were at my 21st birthday party. You gave me that paint-it-yourself Menorah.
Queer (laughing): Oh yeah… Did you ever paint it? Do you still have it?
Artsy girl: Actually, it broke. Lee gave me these thongs as a present, and they somehow got all tangled up and it fell…
Queer: Wait… Are you telling me my Menorah died by thong?

–M Train

Overheard by: Not such a bad way to go

Posted on June 26, 2023
Birthdays, Default, Girls, Judaism, On the Subway, Queer guys, Questions

That's Something You Have to Figure Out for Yourself, Young Padwan

Gay man in hipster glasses, sticking ass out: Papi! It hurts! Open it up and see what's wrong!
Blonde white girl, whining: But what does that meeeeeeannnnn?

–Bleecker & Perry

Posted on June 6, 2023
Girls, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Offers and requests, Queer guys, Questions, Weirdness, West Village, White People

At Least about the Mustache

Deaf Malay guy: My friends and I are thinking of making a movie called ‘Hitler is Right.’
Deaf gay guy: What was he right about?
Deaf Malay guy: About the Jews. If he had finished what he started, there would be no more Jews and the world would be better.
Deaf gay guy: And we wouldn’t exist either.
Deaf Malay guy: Why not?
Deaf gay guy: Because he also killed non-Aryans, homos, and deaf people.
Deaf Malay guy: Really?
Deaf gay guy: Yes.
Deaf Malay guy: Oh. Well, I still think Hitler was right.

–Starbucks, Times Square

Posted on May 25, 2023
Queer guys, Starbucks, Times Square

Wednesday One-Liners Accept All Seven Genders

Bus driver, to guy entering bus: Sorry, ladies only.

–45th & 5th

Overheard by: Jobee

Tranny: Girl, you gotta keep that penis.

–Midtown

Chick on cell: I like the idea of having a penis.

–Harlem

Overheard by: hott bi luvr

Woman: Unless they’re gay, in which case you should just pretend I said men instead of girls. But it’s all still true.

–47th & 8th

Man on cell: Everyone is asking me if I’m a lesbian this week. What is that about?

–Christopher & Bedford

Overheard by: staso

Woman to co-worker: So he has all girls as daughters.

–225 Broadway, 4th floor

Overheard by: Jennifer

Queer: God, I either need to fuck a boy or a trannie tonight!

–13th & Broadway

Overheard by: liza

Posted on May 22, 2023
All Wednesday One-Liners, God, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Lesbians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Penis, Queer guys, Relationships, Stupidity, The Village, Trannies

He Paid Cash

Queer #1: Oh, jeez, I hooked up with that guy. Don’t look.
Queer #2: Who, the guy who just walked on? Call him over. What’s his name?
Queer #1: What am I, psychic?

–N train, Ditmars Blvd

Overheard by: ant

Posted on May 21, 2023
Gays and Lesbians, Hook Ups, Names, On the Subway, Queer guys

It’s Not Looking Good, Wednesday One-liners

Guy: If Hitler were still alive and he were gay you would have thought he’d decorated that apartment. It was a soulless aesthetic abomination.

–Madison between 60th & 61st

Overheard by: daisy anna freund

Posted on May 12, 2023
All Wednesday One-Liners, Insults, Queer guys, Upper East Side

Haven’t You Pissed Off God Enough Already?

Queer #1: She’s kinda bummed…Her parents split; her dad’s marrying another man.
Queer #2: Luckily, that’s not atypical.

–Elevator, 14th Street & 8th Avenue

Queer #1: I’ve been feeling so gross lately. I wonder if it’s because I’ve been having so much ass sex.
Queer #2: Gross like a whore?
Queer #1: No. Like, every time you shit your poop gets rubbed into your ass wounds. Maybe it’s making me sick…What? It’s like rubbing your papercuts in Bombay sewer water.

–Boysroom, Avenue A

Overheard by: zac

Queer: I don’t care about my boyfriend like I care about you. I am buying you these things because I love you.

His phone rings.

Queer: Hello?…Aw, I love you, too.

He hangs up.

Queer: That was him.

–Barney’s, Madison Avenue

Posted on April 21, 2023
Asshole, Poop, Queer guys, Queers

Queer guys