Woman: Guess what? I just saw one of the Golden Girls on my way
here.
Hairqueer: Oh really? Which one?
Woman: I don’t know. She was the flirty one on the show. I guess
she was the prettiest one…
Hairqueer: Oh, Rue McClanahan! I’ve done her hair.
–Hair Salon, 47th & Lexington
Guy #1: Tell me something exciting. I need to live vicariously. All I do is work.
Guy #2: In Paris, a criminal on rollerblades sucked my dick.
–Houston between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: kevin redman
Queer #1: That guy is hot.
Queer #2: Did you notice he was only drinking water?
Queer #1: Yeah, that’s definitely a turnoff.
Queer #2: Well, maybe he’s taking drugs.
Queer #1: I hope so, I hate clean and sober.
–Phoenix, E. 13th Street
Queer: That bitch thinks he’s some Andy Warhol superstar! Fuck him bloody!
–Ludlow & Houston
Tween girl #1: His hair is sometimes awful, but it’s sometimes so perfect.
Tween girl #2: I think that’s what gay hair is like.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: emily clinch
Queer on cell: Oh my God, did you hear? Liz has a date…yeah, with a guy…a straight guy…
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: Cole
Suit on cell: Hi, I’m in Chelsea. I just bought the We Love Disco CD and two porn magazines.
–22nd between 7th & 8th
Black guy: Damn, those horses is gay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: seth scott barkley
Queer on cell: Hey, I got here early. The Starbucks is closed for renovations, so why don’t we just skip to the blowjob?
–7th & Grove
Chick: He was getting blown by a trannie and right before he came he said, “get out of my car, you faggot” and that’s how he knew he wasn’t gay.
–W Hotel bar, Union Square
Overheard by: Somebody nowhere
Guy: I mean, he’s weird. He’ll let me make out with him, but he won’t share his salsa.
–Bond & Lafayette
Queer: First of all, if I was going to have an orgy at four in the morning, I would not have carne asada first. Pttth! Second of all…um…carne asada is not pre-orgy food.
–Barrage, West 47th Street
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
Queer: I’m never having sex with another virgin again. When the virgin is on the receiving end it can be such a pain in the…yeah.
–Bleecker & Macdougal
Woman on cell: Mom, he doesn’t have an accent, he’s gay!
–Madison & 52nd
Queer #1: God, it’s so hot. I bet nudists must love it.
Queer #2: Why? They’re still hot, too.
Queer #1: But all they have is pubey bushes. We actually have clothes that are making us hot.
Queer #2: You’re stupid.
Queer #1: But I bet their balls and labias smell.
–50th Street 1 station
Stripper chick: I don’t know, there was a detective that used to hang out with us in the club, maybe I could call him. He used to drive me home and shit.
Queer: Um, is he trustworthy?
Stripper chick: Well, actually he’s pretty shady, but whatever.
Queer: Actually, that’s probably better.
Stripper chick: You know, it probably is!
–A train
Queer #1: Oh my god, answering your cell phone is so out.
Queer #2: Oh, I know, nobody does it anymore.
Queer #1: Yeah, like, answering cell phones is so last year.
–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Trent Ward
Chick: We think you should sleep with David.
Queer: We think he’s the kind of guy who’s really scrawny but has a real big cock.
–Lillie’s, Red Hook
