Wednesday Flatliners

Dude on cell: Alright, listen up. If the guy gets up and walks away, he’s not dead. If you come back and he’s still lying there, he’s dead, you follow? So, in that situation you are just going to go through the motions like we discussed.

–23^th & 7^th

Overheard by: mel

Random man on bicycle to doorman: You never know when you’re going to eat a bad mushroom and die.

–87^th St & York Ave

Overheard by: Critter

Jersey woman, looking at a case with brains that suffered from major stroke: Oh my gawd… They probably died from that!

–Bodies The Exhibition, South St Seaport

Guy shopping in art supply on a cell: So you’re banking on dying young, then?

–Art Store, Williamsburg

Spacey old guy to friends, calmly: I want to murder that guy. (even more calmly) I’ve got bloodlust in my heart.

–9^th St b/w 1^st & 2^nd

Overheard by: JKW

Woman on cell: You want to be cremated, right? (pause) Well, then what the hell are we going to do with you?

–Park Ave

Posted on September 23, 2021
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Blood & bleeding, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crazies, Death, Food, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Idiots, Men, More museums, Murder, Old People, On Cell, Philosophy, Questions, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Women

…But I Know That an Apple a Day Brings the Doctor to You.

Girl #1: If Rome was built in a day, I can definitely build a website in one day also…
Girl #2: The saying is “Rome wasn’t built in a day.“
Girl #1: Are you sure? That kinda ruins my logic.

–NYU

Posted on July 1, 2021
Girls, History & Geography, Internet, NYU, Philosophy, Stupidity, Time

The Answer Is Shitting in the Wind

Man on a park bench #1: Betcha never seen a dandelion turn from yellow to white. Even catch one half‐way in between.
Man on a park bench #2: Betcha ain’t never seen no baby pigeons. Ain’t noboby never seen no baby pigeons. See all them big fat ones? Where’s the babies at?

–Central Park

Posted on June 28, 2021
Animals & Nature, Central Park, Manhattan, Philosophy

Wednesday One‐Liners You Can Dance to

Dude: He’s the black, blind Motown equivalent of Kenny G.

–113^th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Girl, while leaving screening of “I am legend”: Okay… I cannot believe the woman did not know Bob Marley! I mean, that had to be the most unrealistic thing in that entire film.

–Fresh Meadows, Queens

Overheard by: hmmm…

Curly‐haired chick: Has New Order become an okay kinky sex background band? Am I *old*?

–113^th & Broadway

Overheard by: Poogins

Guy, standing next to guy listening to Journey on his iPod: Get away from me! Just get the fuck away from me!

–2 Train

Dumb girl dressed like Scary Spice en route to the concert: Yeah, a lot of people think that the Spice Girls like, reinstated feminism.

–NJ Transit

Yale grad: Eminem has a wonderful sense of meter.

–Court St., Brooklyn

Overheard by: Justin Casement

Queer: We only stayed for 15 minutes, I’m not that into karaoke. And when a coven of lesbians start casting their spells to “My Sharona”, I was outta there.”

–Chambers & Greenwich

Overheard by: Grand Witch Muffy

Posted on June 23, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Celebrations/Parties, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Disabilities, Ew, Jersey, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Insults, Kink, Movies, Music, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Philosophy, Queens, Queer guys, Questions, Singing, Street, The Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness

…Or a Trannie in the Present One

Girl #1: Wow, you have no problem talking to those guys at the bar like a guy.
Girl #2: Yeah, I know. I must have been a guy in a past life.

–74^th & 1^st

Overheard by: Megan C.

Posted on May 13, 2021
Girls, Philosophy, Trannies, Upper East Side

What Is the Net Value Of This Relationship? Show Your Work.

Dorky bookstore guy: Teaching is like the biggest safety net of all.
Cute dorkette: You’re my safety net!
Dorky bookstore guy, seeing her: Aw, you’re my safety net.

–The Strand, Broadway & 12^th St

Overheard by: Ian

Posted on January 25, 2021
Compliments, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Philosophy, Relationships

But aren’t they the same anyway?

Man in a full‐length fur coat: “I’m a socialist monarchist. I believe in helping the people, but the people can’t help themselves.”

– W 83^rd Post Office

Posted on January 11, 2021
Clothing, Government, People, Philosophy, Places, Post Office, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Venues

One Life to Wednesday One‐Liner

Five‐year‐old boy to father: Is this an important life lesson?

–14^th & 6^th

Overheard by: A

Young Asian man to woman ignoring him: Hey, let’s go get a falafel. Hey, hey – you live around here often?

–Union Square

Overheard by: serena

Woman, throwing McNuggets at man: Get the fuck out of my life!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Elliot

Frantic crazy guy: I’m gonna go have a seat in Starbucks and get my life together!

–6^th Ave & 25^th St

Overheard by: tbomb

Suit on phone: Well that’s life, you screw people over and then you go to the Bahamas.

–Train into Penn Station

Posted on July 6, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Asians, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crazies, Dads, Ethnic Food, Guys, Insults, Kids, Men, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penn Station, Philosophy, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Street, Suits, The Village, Times Square, Trains Not Subway, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

But I’d Trade It All for a Bigger Ding‐a‐Ling

Indian guy #1: What would you rather have: the bling‐bling or the ching‐ching?
Indian guy #2: Well, I would have the ching‐ching because you cannot have the bling‐bling without the ching‐ching.

–R train

Overheard by: Richard

Posted on June 11, 2020
Men, On the Subway, Philosophy

Don’t Overthink It, You’ll Ruin Him

Guy with Mohawk drinking a beer: That guy over there is half Asian and half black.
Friend in skinny jeans: That’s so postmodern!

–The Cock, 2^nd & 2^nd

Overheard by: Trevor From Seattle

Posted on May 27, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Default, Friends, Guys, Philosophy, Race, Skinny People, Union Square and East Village

Philosophy