Philosophy

Middle-aged guy #1: So, Hulk Hogan’s daughter was what — 16 when that show started? Now she must be 19, and she’s dating a 30-year-old?
Middle-aged guy #2: If you’re old enough to drive when you’re 16 and you’re old enough to die for your country when you’re 18, then you’re old enough to make your own decisions.
Middle-aged guy #1: You know, half of those kids that died in World War II never got to experience life as we know it. They were all probably 17-year-old virgins from Iowa.
Middle-aged guy #2: Shit, if I had a kid, I’d take him to a whorehouse in Texas as soon as he turned thirteen.

18 bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Are you experience?

Hipster chick: You know, you can tell it’s a good party by how many people get their stomachs pumped, and whether or not Mark gets naked.
Friend: Totally.

Starbucks
Virginia

Cashier: Sir, would you like to donate that one cent to breast cancer research?
Man: No… I actually think cancer is a great way of controlling population.
Cashier, frowning at him: That's interesting.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: anastasia

Girl (reading inspirational quote): “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.” (pause) Helen Keller. (to friend) Wasn’t she, like, a killer?

Indigo Bookstore
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Sunissa

Man: I never let anyone I owe money to walk behind me.

Hancock Street, Beacon Hill
Boston, Massachusetts

Queer: If gay people can’t get married then fat people shouldn’t be allowed to have lunch breaks!

Carson Street
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Cassie

Professor: They were playing the Rocky theme song while I was trying to think great thoughts.

McDaniel College, Maryland

Chick: Look, if you’re out sniper-ing hobos, it’s not assassination!
Boyfriend: Nope, it’s population control.

High school cafeteria
Englewood, Colorado

Teen girl: I don’t know — it just seems like everyone’s in the Olympics now.

Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: snooper

Eight-year-old boy: Don’t you know that the Kool-Aid Man doesn’t exist?! He’s just a tool for marketing!

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lan