Guy #1: I think that van has more floor space than our apartment.
Guy #2: My life is going nowhere. Line up, ladies!
–Lexington & 66th
Guy #1: I think that van has more floor space than our apartment.
Guy #2: My life is going nowhere. Line up, ladies!
–Lexington & 66th
Asian guy: But it’s the 21st century!
White guy: That’s true, but there’s always a place for racism.
–13th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: E. Jung
A preppy boy whistles and waves at a cab. The cab ignores him, and as it passes the boy yells: What’s your problem, am I Black or something?
–Park & 55th
Bald spot chick: I’m bipolar, depressed, and I have a personality disorder, but the doctor says if I quit pulling out my hair he’ll change me from twenty-four medicines to nineteen.
–Broadway & 51st
Woman: I don’t care how blind you are, you gotta cover your ears when that happens.
–23rd & 7th
Woman: There aren’t enough websites for club-thumbs on the internet.
–Midtown office
Guy on cell: My life is a falafel. No, no, wait, it’s a pita. My life is a pita.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Teen boy: When I get home, I’m gonna get me one of them nutrient shake shits.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Jon Graboff
Woman: I didn’t like the emu there. I’m not going to like it here.
–Eight Mile Creek, Mulberry Street
Overheard by: james uphoff
Hobo #1: Check this out.
He spits something across the car.
Hobo #2: What was that?
Hobo #1: Tooth.
Hobo #2: Nice, nice.
–F train
A junkie hobo walks directly into the store’s window, almost breaking his nose. Seeing this, his homeless buddy responds, rather outraged: Again?!
–Dunkin Donuts, 23rd St. between Broadway & Park
Overheard by: Astrid Vanderpool
Hippie: They gave Israel a nuclear submarine.
Companion: So they can fish?
–5th Ave. & 21st St.
Overheard by: MK and AT
Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast…
–Rockefeller Center
Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!
–14th St & 10th ave
Overheard by: adam
Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit.
–L Train
Overheard by: TR
Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits?
–21st St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Steve
16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me!
–F Train
Overheard by: wish i was being attacked
Lady: If the doormen went on strike, what would they do?
Guy: They would stand outside their buildings and picket.
Lady: How is that different from their job other then the fact that
they would be holding a sign?
–3rd & A
Blonde to other: Don't worry, within like an hour you'll have Jameson running through your system.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Girl on cell: I'm kind of hungover–I think that gin and tonic was a bad idea. I was already drunk, I don't know why I felt the need to have one… And then I went home and made scrambled eggs, and then I wrote a long email to Jen* about how good they were and then I read it this morning and I was like "I am such an idiot!"
–Broadway & Great Jones
Overheard by: Lillian
Sorority girl on cell: Well, I'm going to have some champagne, but it's not like I'm knocking back shots with the guys. (pause) Yeah, I know, I know, I'll be careful. (pause) Don't worry, mom, I've done worse drugs than drink before! (long pause) I don't want to talk about it. (long long pause) So…I'm going to go horseback riding!
–Broadway & 34th St, Astoria
Overheard by: Horsies Are Pretty
Bartender: Ladies and gentlemen! Don't run away from or by the bar! You have an hour to walk to your seats. Again, please do not run from the bar, run to it!
—Wicked, Broadway
Girl to friend: I only get tipsy enough to go into the Virgin Megastore…
–2nd Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: Jonathan
Man to friend, about AA: Y'know, if I could drink like normal people, I'd get drunk every night.
–Central Park
Overheard by: John Tidyman
Girl to friend: When I told you to seize the moment I didn't know you were drunk!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Rebecca
20-something female shopkeeper to coworker, as Michael Jackson's "Rock with You" plays on the radio: Did you hear he's sick? Apparently, he's in the hospital. I know, it's crazy. Can you imagine if he dies? If he dies, that'll be, like, the most awful thing to happen to America in years!
–Pet Food Store
Overheard by: Nathalie
Suit on cell: What if Michael Jackson sucking your dick was the cure for cancer?
–8th & Broadway
Man, lighting cigarette: So what'd he die from? A sunburn?
–Chambers St. & West Broadway
Middle aged black lady on cell: If you can get Michael Jackson on a condom box it would definitely sell.
–MacDougal & 8th St
Nine-year-old boy, pointing to a newspaper article, to younger sister: Oh yeah, that guy? He was fifty. He used to be a black guy but made himself become white.
–Canal & Orchard, Chinatown
Overheard by: Lauren T.
Large tattooed man, discussing Michael Jackson: One of those kids is his; the other two can't be, they're white. They were all unofficially inseminated, though.
–Delancey & Essex
