Central Park

20-something girl in floral dress #1: I know! I was just like, “stick it in my ass already!”
20-something girl in floral dress #2: I know, right?

–Great Lawn, Central Park

Overheard by: The Boss

Teen boy: What do you do to 10-year-old girls?
Friend: I don’t do anything to 10-year-old girls. I just do stuff to myself while I’m watching 10-year-old girls.

–Columbus Circle

Old European guy, exasperated: Was Moses a hydrologist?

–Central Park

Woman on cell: Yeah, the kitty pushes the others around. He’s a real tyrant… Uh-huh. Guess what she named him: Osama.

–Central Park

Girl: Oh! Did I tell you? Karen* had an orgasm from anal!
Queer: You guys can can do that too?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Sean, not queer but not straight

Man on a park bench #1: Betcha never seen a dandelion turn from yellow to white. Even catch one half-way in between.
Man on a park bench #2: Betcha ain’t never seen no baby pigeons. Ain’t noboby never seen no baby pigeons. See all them big fat ones? Where’s the babies at?

–Central Park

Frustrated woman laying out: Actually, no, he didn't say he would call me, he said he would “ring” me.
Indignant friend: What an asshole! Like seriously, you're not British!

–Sheep Meadow

Overheard by: Henry Higgins

Yuppie woman #1: So, why don’t you buy their products? Is it because of the whole child labor thing?
Yuppie woman #2: No, I don’t give a shit about that — I’m a Republican. I just think their products are ugly.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Graham Davis

Chick: Does she think that looks hot?
Friend: She’s ten.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Jax

Mother to daughter wearing a Pink Princess backpack: Hold up, honey, mommy needs to get something out of your bag.
(mother removes pack of cigarettes and lighter from bag)
Husband to wife: You have no shame.

–Central Park