Wednesday One-liners Go to the Park

Drunk hobo: Excuse me, sir, do you have Michael Jackson’s phone number?

–Central Park

Overheard by: alec

Girl on cell: Like, how many miles are in a square mile?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Glynnis

Guy on cell: No. You don’t understand. These girls are hungry. Tofu is not going to fucking do it.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Hambone Bootblack

Jogger lady: Oh, great, it’s raining. Thanks a lot, God.

–Central Park

Overheard by: mj

Man: That guy’s got a chicken. He’s gonna burn it! Hey man, don’t hurt the animals! He’s gonna burn the chicken!

–Tompkins Square Park

Overheard by: Alex Romanovich

Posted on July 20, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Central Park, Drunks, Food, Hobos, Idiots, On Cell, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Weather

Perhaps That’s the Problem…Pudga

Runner chick #1: What the hell are those people doing?
Runner chick #2: They’re in some sort of boot camp class.
Runner chick #1: They’re military?
Runner chick #2: No, I think they just pay someone to get them in shape.
Runner chick #1: But they’re so sweaty and out of breath! I never get that way with my trainer!

–Central Park

Overheard by: Peter

Posted on July 8, 2025
Central Park, Girls, Health and Hygiene

Put It Where It Doesn’t Belong

JHS boy #1: Shut up before I have to put my ass in your mouth.
JHS boy #2: How the hell you gonna put your ass in my mouth?

–Central Park

Girl #1: It looked like you were getting pretty close with that guy on the dance floor.
Girl #2: I know! He was putting his dick all up in my ass like he knew me or something.

–11th between 3rd & 4th

Posted on July 6, 2025
Ass, Beastiality, Central Park, Foreplay, Guys, Penis, Sex & Relationships, Stuyvesant Town

It’s Usually Running and Away from the Bronx

Pedicab guy: It’s a great day for a ride in Central Park. Want a ride?
Man: How much to the Bronx?

–Columbus Circle

Posted on June 24, 2025
Cabbies, Central Park, Men, Public Transportation

Does Kitty Have Green Eyes Too?

Girl #1: My cat drinks out of my water glass all the time.
Girl #2: So?
Girl #1: I can’t drink it after that. I mean, she licks her own ass.

–Central Park

Posted on May 20, 2025
Asshole, Central Park, Gay Man's Best Friend, Girls, Health and Hygiene, We Love Our Pets

No Matter How Worthless You Are, There’s This Girl

Girl #1: I wouldn’t get married in New York, no way.
Girl #2. Me neither.
Girl #1: Out of town somewhere, New Haven, Scarsdale: way better. It’d be ridiculous here. Can you imagine?
Girl #3: Yup, right.
Girl #1: Only if I married for money. If he has money, then it’s a different story. Let’s say, 250k a year. Stockbroker, mortgage investment banker, lawyer surgeon, you know. At least 250 grand, or it might as well be in Boston. And I have to have an au pair, later.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Christopher Lee