Little girl: Mommy, I know where ’em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here — here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.

Mansfield, Texas

Mom, with neck tattoo reading “ape” to toddler daughter picking produce: Put that back. That is not what you think it is.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Kathyp

Mom to little kid: Shhh! She can’t help it if she’s fat!

Tucson, Arizona

Mom: A 21-year-old girl from Oshkosh died today, but they aren’t saying how.
College daughter: A house blew up this morning… Well, a mobile home, actually.
Mom: And it killed that 21-year-old girl?!
College daughter: Well, no. They’re unrelated. Actually, I’m just trying to upstage you… But a house really did blow up.

Appleton, Wisconsin

Little boy: I don’t like your rules, Mommy!
Mom: They aren’t my rules, honey, they’re America’s rules.

Austin, Texas

Mother to teen daughter: And then you, me, and your aunt can mount the pillow like last time.

Augusta, Georgia

Overheard by: Annissa

Mom to running, laughing child: Stop running! You can have fun when we get home.

Bowling Green, Kentucky

Overheard by: shannon

Mom to child: Do you know what that is, honey?
Child: No.
Mom: That's a mannequin.
Child (giggling): It doesn't have a head!
Mom: That's right. None of them do!

Iowa City, Iowa

Mom to little girl touching display: Honey, don’t do that! [Kid keeps doing it.] I said don’t do that! Do you want to go to Hell?
Little girl, scared: No.
Mom: Then don’t touch that.

Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: the girl behind the register

Six-year-old girl: Mum, remember when we went on that airplane?
Distracted mum: Mm-hmm?
Six-year-old girl: Was that paradise?


Overheard by: Wishing I could go holiday there