Harassed mother to four‐year‐old: Max, can we pleeaase just take a cab, it’s too cold to wait for a bus!
Four‐year‐old: No! Cabs make me feel sick!
–Union Square
Overheard by: cherrypips
Harassed mother to four‐year‐old: Max, can we pleeaase just take a cab, it’s too cold to wait for a bus!
Four‐year‐old: No! Cabs make me feel sick!
–Union Square
Overheard by: cherrypips
Daughter: Mom, is beef steak?
Mother: No, steak is steak.
–Mexican restaurant, Floral Park
Kid on subway: Mom! That is a mad big window!
Mom: Honey, that’s not proper English. You say “that window is mad big.”
–G Train
Angry 20‐something girl: Dad, you realize that when you refuse to give me the keys to my car that he’s been illegally driving, you are effective enabling him to steal from me!
Confused‐looking dad: Well, I understand how you feel, honey, really I do, but…
Angry 20‐something girl (cutting him off): Don’t fucking placate me, you sonofabitch!
Confused‐looking dad (looking helplessly toward his wife): Cheryl…your daughter is yelling at me using profanity and words I don’t know.
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Krystal
Little girl: Mom, can we go in the supermarket? I want honeycombs.
Mom: No.
Little girl: Mom!
Mom: Girl! You make wanna have a cigarette.
–Outside Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
Overheard by: Glenn T
Dude #1: Dude, you see how hot Sara looked last night?
Dude #2: Dude, I would fucking lick her ass.
Dude #3: Dude, there’s kids around.
Dude #2: What, what did I say?
Dude #3: That you’d fuckin’ lick Sara’s ass!
40‐something mom of three: Why don’t you know your fuckin’ surroundings, fuckface? There’s kids around.
Dude #2: Harsh, man.
–Park Ave & 19th St
Overheard by: Gary
Mother: Your shoes are untied. Should we stop so you can tie them?
Son: No!
Mother: Well, okay… But if you fall and break your nose, it’s your fault.
Son: No! It’s your fault!
–54th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy
Kid: Mom, where you at?
Mom: I’m right here, baby, and it’s not where you at, it’s where you is.
–Crowded store
Overheard by: spamandvikings
Mom: Look at the sea lions, buddy!
Little boy: I don’t see any lions.
Mom: Well, they’re not really lions — they’re whales, just like dolphins!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Why isn’t there birth control in the water supply?
Young thug to friends: Stop, stop, stop! Stop, seriously, stop. C’mon, I’m not kidding! Seriously. I have shoe phobia!
–Metro‐North Rail
Guy with shoe in hand, catching up to woman who lost it: Here you go, Cinderella!
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: thorn
Manager of ladies’ shoe store: It’s easy to close. You put the hooker boots – all this hoochie stuff, with the hooker boots, you put the flats with the flats, you put the day shoes with the day shoes. Now, Narnia over there is another story…
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Sarah R
Chick to guy: If you buy me Jimmy Choos, I’ll have your baby.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Lets hope she’ll have the baby anyway…
Four‐year‐old girl stepping out of taxi: Mommy, can we go online to buy shoes today?
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: …wow.
