Little girl pointing to City Hall: That's where we pick up daddy!
Mom: No, it's across the street at the jail.

Overheard by: not good

Mom: We can’t have ice cream. You just had candy at the movie.
Little girl: Mom, you are such a gutter-skank.
Mom, flabbergasted: What did you say?! What did you call me?! Where did you hear that term?!
Little girl: Dad.

Capitol Street
Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Total Gutterskank

Mom: Can you sit there and be mommy's good boy just a little longer? We're almost done shopping.
Boy: No. I'm not your good boy. I'm not your good boy anymore.
Mom: Oh you aren't? Then will you be a big boy for me?
Boy: No, I'm not your big boy! I'm not your big boy, and I'm not your good boy anymore.
Mom: Oh really, then what are you?
Boy: I'm a grandma!

Overheard by: kari

Little girl trying on boots: Mom, can I get them?
Mom: Yes, but you have to take them off.
Little girl: Will you help me?
Mom: No, if you don't know how to take your own shoes off by now, I've done something very wrong.
Little girl, in low voice, taking boots off: …you have.

Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Rachel

Mother: Hey, you could get a job at Build-A-Bear.
Exasperated daughter: No I couldn't, they have to wear khaki pants and denim shirts.

Overheard by: what?s wrong with that?

Harried mom to adorable eight-year-old girl: You just ask a policeman. Next time you see a policeman you ask him, “Is it illegal for me to sleep in my mommy's car?”


Mom gripping three kids by their collars with one hand while pointing with each word at each kid with her other hand: I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. Another. Word. About. Sticking. Something. Up. Your. Asses!

Toy aisle, Wal-Mart
Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: keller-wish i’d gotten there fifteen seconds earlier

20-something daughter: Mom, can you hand me the scissors?
Mom: Not right now, I'm doing Kegels.

Overheard by: tara

Tourist lady, as train approaches the end of the line: So how are they going to turn this train around?
Daughter: They don't have to. It can go in either direction.
Tourist lady: Well, are they at least going to turn the seats around?

Washington, DC

Little girl pointing to handicapped sink: Mommy, do you know what that’s for?
Mom: It’s a sink for people in wheelchairs, honey.
Little girl: No! It’s where boys pee!

Bathroom, JCPenney’s
Forest Park, Georgia

Overheard by: Kelly