Moms

Mother, reading newspaper: Dear God, another rapist is loose…
Six-year-old daughter: Mom, what’s rape?
Mother, uncomfortably: Um, that’s when a man forces a woman to have sex with him.
Six-year-old daughter: What’s sex?
Mother: Look! A bird!

Market Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Queen Of Spades

Mother: If a man ever hurts you, spit in his face, then cut his dick off and hand it to his mama.
Nine-year-old daughter: What if it’s my brother?

Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: rideabike

Mom: You wanna sleep in the bed with dad?
13-year-old boy: Why the hell would I do that? I’m 5’6″! That’s gay!

Baldwin Park, Florida

Overheard by: hmm… point taken.

Little girl to mom: But I am getting real good! Yesterday I didn't get any poop on my hand!

Public Restroom
Iceland

[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]Mom: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!
Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?

Great Escape Theater
Illinois

Overheard by: The Surly Usher

Old lady to son: People are like teabags. You know?

Wyoming

Child: Mommy, mommy, my hand smells like butt!
Mother: Why does your hand smell like butt, honey?
Child: I put my hand in my butt.

Department Store
Davis, California

Overheard by: Arlene

Very well-behaved boy: Mom, I have been so good lately, can I please get a toy?
Very patient mom: Do you have any money?
Very well-behaved boy: Um… no, but you do. I looked in your wallet this morning.
Very patient mom: That's snooping!
Very well-behaved boy: Well, daddy does it all the time!

Salem, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Jenna

Little boy, pointing to tourist: Mom! I can't get on because the American will eat me!

Philippines

Little girl: Mom, what’s a prostitute?
Mother, nervous: Uh, a woman who does extreme cuddling for money.
Little girl: Extreme cuddling X Games?!

Denver, Colorado