Mother: If a man ever hurts you, spit in his face, then cut his dick off and hand it to his mama.
Nine-year-old daughter: What if it’s my brother?
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: rideabike
Mother: If a man ever hurts you, spit in his face, then cut his dick off and hand it to his mama.
Nine-year-old daughter: What if it’s my brother?
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: rideabike
Mom: You wanna sleep in the bed with dad?
13-year-old boy: Why the hell would I do that? I’m 5’6″! That’s gay!
Baldwin Park, Florida
Overheard by: hmm… point taken.
Little girl to mom: But I am getting real good! Yesterday I didn't get any poop on my hand!
Public Restroom
Iceland
[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]Mom: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!
Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?
Great Escape Theater
Illinois
Overheard by: The Surly Usher
Old lady to son: People are like teabags. You know?
Wyoming
Child: Mommy, mommy, my hand smells like butt!
Mother: Why does your hand smell like butt, honey?
Child: I put my hand in my butt.
Department Store
Davis, California
Overheard by: Arlene
Very well-behaved boy: Mom, I have been so good lately, can I please get a toy?
Very patient mom: Do you have any money?
Very well-behaved boy: Um… no, but you do. I looked in your wallet this morning.
Very patient mom: That's snooping!
Very well-behaved boy: Well, daddy does it all the time!
Salem, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Jenna
Exasperated-sounding woman to small child: If you're not gonna cry properly, then don't cry at all.
http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2006/07/quotebook-2006/
Overheard by: Raptor