Or Anthrax

Mom: No! Don't walk on that! (kid continues to walk on grass) I hope you step in dog shit.

Capitol Hill
Washington, DC

Overheard by: christa

Posted on August 28, 2020
Animals, Default, Moms, Offers and requests, Poop, Washington, DC, Wishes

In the Hamptons, That’s a Marriage Proposal

Guy from inside Port-A-Potty: Oh, shit, I just dropped my BlackBerry in there!
Friend: Oh, man, what are you gonna do?!
Guy: Well, somebody’s got to stick their hand in there!
Dude waiting in line: I think I’ll use the other one. I don’t want to be the first person to piss on your BlackBerry.

Rock the Farm Benefit
East Hampton, New York

Posted on July 21, 2020
Cell phones, Friends, Guys, New York, Pee, Poop

It’s More Like a Museum of Strangers’ Poo, Honey

Little girl, inside port-a-potty: Mommy! Mommy!
Mommy: Just be quiet and go potty.
Little girl: Mommy, do you know what it feels like in here? It’s like a little house where I’ll always be protected.

Renaissance Festival
Maryland

Overheard by: Nancy Whiskey

Posted on June 16, 2020
Girls, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Maryland, Moms, Poop

Why Twitter Was Invented

Guy on cell walking past elephants: I'm watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Yeah, I'm watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Okay. Bye.

Busch Gardens
Tampa Bay, Florida

Posted on May 26, 2020
Animals, Body parts, Florida, Guys, Poop, Tourist attractions

I'm Glad You Recognize It As an Inevitability

Wife: Would you still love me if I peed my pants?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: Would you still love me if I shit my pants?
Husband: We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on May 19, 2020
Feelings, Hubbies, Pee, Poop, Questions, Relationships, Tennessee

It’s Good to Have Plans

Drunk girl: I want to find a really kinky man tonight and shit on his chest.

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardinmelb/150318.html

Posted on May 6, 2020
Drunks, Kink, Overheard in Melbourne's Journal, Poop

Wait– What Exactly Are You Using As a Volleyball?

Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.

Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan

Overheard by: Scott

Posted on March 29, 2020
Default, Family ties, Food, Girls, Guys, Kids, Lies, Michigan, Moms, Poop, Questions, Restaurants, Sensory experiences, Siblings

…I've Been Saving That Up All Semester.

Elderly Bible as Literature professor: People often say things that catch people off guard. Like if I said even Jesus shat.
(entire class goes completely silent)
Professor: Holy shit, huh?

College
Massachusetts

Posted on February 26, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Jesus, Massachusetts, Poop, Questions, Religious fanatics, Teachers

The Magic Night Cletus Met Brandine

Male redneck: You can come over, but you can't be shittin' in my bathroom.
(female redneck is silent)
Male redneck: Seriously… I like you and all, but I don't know you good enough for you to be stankin' up my bathroom.
(they leave together)

Project Lounge
Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: these are the people who get to have sex?

Posted on February 8, 2020
Mississippi, Poop, Rednecks, Relationships

Fine, Call It “Guano” If That Makes You Feel Better

Man to son: Stop talking about vampire bats and focus on your poop.

San Diego, California

Posted on February 2, 2020
Advice, Animals, California, Dads, Default, Family ties, Poop

Poop