Woman on cell: I think they put onions in my sandwich. I’m running home now, let me call you when I get off the toilet.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Anne C.
Woman on cell: I think they put onions in my sandwich. I’m running home now, let me call you when I get off the toilet.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Anne C.
A blonde, cherubic-looking little girl of about two, clad in only a diaper, is smearing feces all over her chest. Two young women look on helplessly, clutching napkins.
Young woman: I wish we had a sprinkler.
–Lafayette & Prince
Overheard by: elise n
Mom: Are you okay in there, sweetie?
Little girl in stall: I can’t button my pants.
Mom: It’s alright. Just come on out.
Little girl in stall: And I pooped on the floor.
–Bathroom, AMC Theatres, Times Square
Suit: My dick was totally in one hand pissing while I was talking to the client.
–48th & Madison
Woman on cell: And when my brother got near him, his poop came out. That's how scared he was.
–107th & Broadway
Woman on cell: So yeah, they are really scary, like if you walk in the house they will bark really loud, and that's totally worse than them biting you.
–Majestic Theater
Girl on cell: I went in for genetic counseling and I found out things that scared me.
–10th Ave & 39th St
Overheard by: Todd Fletcher
Girl on cell: No, you can't go! I'm too stoned and too scared. Just stay on the phone with me, please.
–Supermarket, Astoria
Conductor: Never fear! The phantom of the train is here!
–7 Train
Overheard by: Alex
Wall Street suit #1: Dude, in this economy it's our duty to be good advisors to our clients.
Wall Street suit #2, chuckling: Dude, you just said “doodie.”
–Nassau & Liberty
Overheard by: Megz
Slutty girl: Yeah, we were both drunk and he hit the wrong hole. I've been shitting blood for two days.
–Citi Field Stadium
Gay guy: I mean… She made my dick bleed.
–St. Mark's
Overheard by: jax
Chick laughing hysterically on cell: I know! So much blood came out of his ears!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Fresh Man
Black man on phone: This car was ripped in half, they had to cut this dude out with the jaws of life, he come out bleeding from his eye sockets and shit. (pause) So you wanna meet up later?
–Willoughby & Vanderbilt
Guy #1: Don’t throw away that Gatorade bottle! I gotta do something.
Guy #2: …Right now?
Guy #1: Yeah!
Guy #2: There’s a pizza place right there!
Guy #1: They won’t let me use theirs! Don’t you throw that bottle away!
–25th & 2nd
Queer: I haven’t pooped in two days and I work at The Gap.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jason
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
