Yuppie guy on cell: I have to master these machines. You ever use the ones where you put the detergent in the top before?
–79th between Columbus & Broadway
Yuppie guy on cell: I have to master these machines. You ever use the ones where you put the detergent in the top before?
–79th between Columbus & Broadway
White man: Yeah, and he has that puppet. I’m not sure if it’s a hand puppet or the kind with strings, but man, that shit used to fuck me up.
–Houston & Varick
Overheard by: Eve’s droppings
Woman: His breath stinks. It smells like…it smells like shit to me. He’s gay, that’s why. He’s always suckin’ it, you know.
–Delancey Street station
Overheard by: Palaverist
Black guy: Three-quarters of that thing was up his ass. That nigga was fucked up for life. Mentally, physically…
–Lexington & 53rd
Suit: I mean, I felt like a complete idiot. I had no idea. You go to the Met and they’ll just give you a wheelchair. All this time I’ve been walking around the damn place! You don’t even have to have a note saying you’re handicapped or something.
–2nd Avenue & 13th Street
Chinese boy: What street is this? Onion Street?
–N train, Union Street station
Guy on cell: Yeah, I’m wearing ahhh…a football jersey and Speedos.
–Houston & Allen
Overheard by: M!J
Girl on cell: Hey, how are you? My vagina is sore.
–34th & 3rd
HS boy: Hey, you guys are a bunch of pussies. Do you realize you’re running from a handicapped lady? I mean, I could see if she came at you with a cane or something.
–106th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kyle T.
Man on cell: I can’t wait for the naked pussy party.
–Employees Only, Hudson Street
Overheard by: Max T-M
Cop: She ovulates tumbleweeds.
–Ludlow & Delancey
Overheard by: Erin Bradley
Girl on cell: Yeah, I think it’s a yeast infection…yeah…itching. It’s been like a week, though…I’m not going to a gynecologist…I had a bad experience once. I don’t know how much longer I can take it, though.
–6th Avenue & 8th Street
Bag lady: My name is Madge. I am homeless, completely broke. I haven’t eaten in days. I have my period and I am bleeding my clothes now.
–6 train
Girl: Yeah, you’re right. Laughing by yourself just makes you look demented.
–Office, Wall Street
Woman: He doesn’t like people who are deep, and sometimes I’m so deep that I can’t even understand myself. *Sigh*
–American Bible Society lobby, Columbus Circle
Girl: I think Spawn is going through an identity crisis.
–W train
Chick: The problem with a long-distance relationship is that so much of it occurs in the mind. And my mind is insane.
–Belgian Beer Bar, W. 4th Street
Overheard by: djlindee
Woman on cell: I’m at Fiddler on the Roof…A play.
–45th & 7th
Overheard by: Hope Abrams
Orthodox man on cell: $700,000…this is nothing to do with money…I just want to get even with that guy…the one you wanted to smack…Goldberg…he’s a liar and a thief and he wanted me to deal with a Gentile.
–Madison & 33rd
JAP: Sorry, I just get very Jewish about my weed.
–Madison & 97th
Overheard by: drew grant
