Meek tourist, after spending 10 minutes trying to hail a cab: Can you please help me hail a cab?
Disgruntled cop: Fuck you! Find your own damn cab! Christ!
–Times Square
Meek tourist, after spending 10 minutes trying to hail a cab: Can you please help me hail a cab?
Disgruntled cop: Fuck you! Find your own damn cab! Christ!
–Times Square
Girl #1: I can’t go out with him. He’s fat.
Girl #2: So are you.
Girl #1: Really? Oh… yeah.
–Applebee’s, Times Square
Overheard by: eee!
Man on date: I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but since I was little I had an imaginary friend named Picoletto.
Woman he’s dating: Holy shit! You know Pico!
–McDonald’s, Times Square
Overheard by: JP
Chick #1: So yeah, all this time I've never had PMS before. Like ever. Now that all this hormonal shit is going on, it all caught up with me this past week.
Chick #2: What do you mean?
Chick #1: I've been eating M&M's, Fritos, chocolate-covered pretzels, and Powerade this entire week, and I can't go 10 minutes without crying.
Chick #2: Are you prego?
Chick #1: No, I think I just fucking won the endocrine lottery.
--Times Square shuttle
Overheard by: Glynnis O
Woman: Did you get off?
Friend: No! The weatherman retracted his 10 inches.
–Times Square
Guy #1: Dude, let’s go see Fiddler on the Roof. I heard it’s sick.
Guy #2: Oh, that’s the sequel to The Wizard of Oz, right? With the witch of the East… Right?
Guy #1: Let’s go get high.
Guy #2: Okay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Darius Izad
Flustered woman, about her brood: Have we lost anyone yet?
Husband: Ummm… No.
Flustered woman: Well, who are we going to lose first? Because we haven’t lost anyone yet.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Josh
Headline by: Aeirlys
Runners‐Up:
· “Because Abortion THIS Late in the Term Is Just Tacky” — Hillary Claire
· “Hobos Aren’t Born. They’re Made.” — Krisztina
· “It Looked So Much Easier in Home Alone” — You Don’t Want To Know
· “Things Were Shaky Until Fraulein Maria Came Along” — allison
· “Two Roads Diverged in the Woods — I Chose the One My Children Couldn’t Travel” — Drewp
20‐something: Can I get an eggnog steamer cut with skim? Is that possible?
Barista: Ma’am, anything’s possible. Next!
–Starbucks, Times Square
British guy #1, weaving through umbrellas: You paid for a good time, not a long time.
British guy #2, sounding disgruntled: Well, I want a refund.
–Outside Bubba Gump Shrimp, Times Square
Overheard by: Mildred and Gertrude
Crazy guy: Jodie Foster is a top notch actress!
Girl: Okay.
Crazy guy: Julia Roberts is going down!
Girl: Are they going to fight?
–Shubert Theater, West 44th Street
