Dude #1: We should have stayed in Midtown.
Dude #2: Why? All you can do there is buy socks and drugs.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Alisa!
Dude #1: We should have stayed in Midtown.
Dude #2: Why? All you can do there is buy socks and drugs.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Alisa!
Flyer guy: Hey, wanna see a comedy show? (two snotty girls ignore him) Hey, you like to laugh?
Snotty girls: No!
Flyer guy: Ah, you're miserable. Heading back to Staten Island?
–Times Square
Swedish guy: Last night I burped so loud I think I’m sure I woke everyone up in the apartment.
American guy: That’s kind of like when I took that noisy dump.
Swedish guy: Ew!
–Times Square
Blonde to other: Don't worry, within like an hour you'll have Jameson running through your system.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Girl on cell: I'm kind of hungover–I think that gin and tonic was a bad idea. I was already drunk, I don't know why I felt the need to have one… And then I went home and made scrambled eggs, and then I wrote a long email to Jen* about how good they were and then I read it this morning and I was like "I am such an idiot!"
–Broadway & Great Jones
Overheard by: Lillian
Sorority girl on cell: Well, I'm going to have some champagne, but it's not like I'm knocking back shots with the guys. (pause) Yeah, I know, I know, I'll be careful. (pause) Don't worry, mom, I've done worse drugs than drink before! (long pause) I don't want to talk about it. (long long pause) So…I'm going to go horseback riding!
–Broadway & 34th St, Astoria
Overheard by: Horsies Are Pretty
Bartender: Ladies and gentlemen! Don't run away from or by the bar! You have an hour to walk to your seats. Again, please do not run from the bar, run to it!
—Wicked, Broadway
Girl to friend: I only get tipsy enough to go into the Virgin Megastore…
–2nd Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: Jonathan
Man to friend, about AA: Y'know, if I could drink like normal people, I'd get drunk every night.
–Central Park
Overheard by: John Tidyman
Girl to friend: When I told you to seize the moment I didn't know you were drunk!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Rebecca
Deaf Malay guy: My friends and I are thinking of making a movie called ‘Hitler is Right.’
Deaf gay guy: What was he right about?
Deaf Malay guy: About the Jews. If he had finished what he started, there would be no more Jews and the world would be better.
Deaf gay guy: And we wouldn’t exist either.
Deaf Malay guy: Why not?
Deaf gay guy: Because he also killed non-Aryans, homos, and deaf people.
Deaf Malay guy: Really?
Deaf gay guy: Yes.
Deaf Malay guy: Oh. Well, I still think Hitler was right.
–Starbucks, Times Square
Black guy: Where you from?
Tourist: Maryland.
Black guy: Cool. I’ve seen The Wire. I know how you guys get down.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Alex
Chick #1: The girl puts on 10 pounds and nobody wants her.
Chick #2: But she did cocaine.
Chick #1: Big deal! Everyone does cocaine!
–Conde Nast Building, Times Square
Hipster on cell: I’m not even buying anything. I’m just here to be seen.
–Trader Joe’s
Hipster boy: I loves me some master race!
–Lobby, the Met
Overheard by: Shayna
Tipsy hipster girl: Wine is so, like, the blood of the gods!
–W 4th & Christopher St
Hipster guy: I think the most truly good person who’s ever been on this earth was Gandhi. Or maybe Martin Luther King, Junior… But he was black.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ghandi was Indian..
Drunk chick: What kind of hipsters are you that you won’t fuck a girl just because she wants to wear a Sailor Moon costume?
–St. Mark’s Pl
Girl on phone: Well then, riddle me this, smart guy: why'd I wake up naked?
–Smith & Sackett, Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Swimfan
Girl: Oh my god! I can't wait to see them naked!
–Elevator, Times Square Arts Center
Overheard by: Natalie
Museum worker: And then I woke up buck naked in a hotel, and there were pictures of me all over the room.
–Museum of Art and Design
Guy: No, I will not do it in here again. Just because I'm wearing nothing under my jacket, doesn't mean I'm going to flash a crowd of people in every store we enter. I've done it three times already. Get your rocks off some other way.
–Columbus Circle Mall Escalator
Overheard by: Martin
Drunk girl at NYU protest: I don't even know why I'm here, I just want to take off my clothes!
–NYU Kimmel Center
Overheard by: Lilo
Girl on train: Oh, hi! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on.
–A Train
Overheard by: Don't even wanna know
Girl on cell: So I'm gonna be naked, but that's okay, I'll be wearing rollerblades.
–N 4th & Bedford Ave
Pretentious snob lady: New York is soooo Vegas these days.
–Times Square
