Times Square

Queer on cell: Oh my God, did you hear? Liz has a date…yeah, with a guy…a straight guy…

–Time Warner Center

Overheard by: Cole

Suit on cell: Hi, I’m in Chelsea. I just bought the We Love Disco CD and two porn magazines.

–22nd between 7th & 8th

Black guy: Damn, those horses is gay.

–Times Square

Overheard by: seth scott barkley

Queer on cell: Hey, I got here early. The Starbucks is closed for renovations, so why don’t we just skip to the blowjob?

–7th & Grove

Chick: He was getting blown by a trannie and right before he came he said, “get out of my car, you faggot” and that’s how he knew he wasn’t gay.

–W Hotel bar, Union Square

Overheard by: Somebody nowhere

Guy: I mean, he’s weird. He’ll let me make out with him, but he won’t share his salsa.

–Bond & Lafayette

Queer: First of all, if I was going to have an orgy at four in the morning, I would not have carne asada first. Pttth! Second of all…um…carne asada is not pre-orgy food.

–Barrage, West 47th Street

Overheard by: Nick Salvato

Queer: I’m never having sex with another virgin again. When the virgin is on the receiving end it can be such a pain in the…yeah.

–Bleecker & Macdougal

Woman on cell: Mom, he doesn’t have an accent, he’s gay!

–Madison & 52nd

Chick: What is the difference between the red top and the green top on the soy sauce?
Man: …The red one is spicy.

–Ruby Foo’s, 49th & Broadway

Guy on cell: Where am I? I’m always some place watching some crazy shit. I’m watching some motherfuckin’ Indian shit, son. Some shit from some country. They’re doing a rain dance, son. It’s gonna motherfuckin’ rain soon. They’re doing a motherfuckin’ rain dance, son. They’re dancing and shit.

–St. Mark’s Church

Overheard by: Alex Romanovich

Woman: Where are all the restaurants?

–Times Square station

Overheard by: Kate

Woman on cell: Where am I? I’m at home; I’m just about to go down and get a cab. Where are you?

–Gristede’s, 63rd & West End

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Driving guy: Is this Brooklyn?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Captain Obvious

Driving guy: Excuse me, which way is Manhattan?

–40th & Broadway

Girl: Excuse me sir, how do you get to Times Square?

–42nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti

Man on cell: No, no. I’ll never make it. I’m still in Jersey.

–85th & 2nd

Overheard by: JDH

Alt girl: So his second cousin is also his dad. That’s fucking mashed up.

–Times Square

Teen girl: You sure it’s his, right? He didn’t take his cock out or nuthin’?

–Laundry room, 108th & 2nd

Overheard by: CK Allen

Chick: Yeah, so I’ve been making out with my stepcousin lately.

–Coney Island

Overheard by: Kam Truhn

Tourist mom: What Broadway show should we see?
NY guy: Well, Wicked is good.
Tourist mom: I got five kids with me. You think I’m gonna pay? I meant what Broadway show can we see that we don’t have to pay for.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Peter Shankman

Tween girl #1: Wow, like this is really high up.
Tween girl #2: Like wow.

–Toys R Us, Times Square

Overheard by: Dawn Furey

Guy: Hey, can I get some cigarettes?

The newsstand man just rocks back and forth mumbling something.

Guy: Excuse me, can I get some cigarettes?!
Newsstand man: …Yes, sir. Cigarettes. Sorry, I was praying.
Guy: Oh. I thought you were masturbating.

–Times Square newsstand

Girl #1: So when I was in Italy, I went to France.
Girl #2: What did you do there?
Girl #1: I went to the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Girl #2: Still Italy.
Girl #1: Really?
Girl #2: Yeah. So what did you do in France?
Girl #1: I guess I didn’t go to France, then…

–Toys R Us, Times Square

Overheard by: Jesse Patrick

Girl #1: These are my fat ass pants.
Girl #2: Oh…so are they supposed to make your ass look fat or thin?

–58th & 5th

White guy: Did I tell you I met a White chick?
Girl: No…do you like her?
White guy: She’s cool. She’s from Brooklyn, so that softens the blow.

–Times Square