Times Square

An activist tries to give a guy a pamphlet.

Guy: I don’t believe in human rights.
Activist: I hope a tyrant kills your family!

–Times Square

Tourist #1: I can’t wait to leave New York.
Tourist #2: It’s not for claustrophobes.

–Times Square

Guy #1: Why is it so small?
Guy #2: That’s what gugu said.
Guy #3: Excuse me, but what in the world is a gugu?

–Times Square

Thuggette to random Latina girl: That’s right, keep walkin’ bitch! I’ll throw yo’ ass in the trash right ’bout now!
Thug: Can’t we act civilized just for like, five minutes?
Thuggette: Fuck you, nigga!

–Times Square Subway Station

Overheard by: Tim

Woman (slowly walking toward a train whose doors are closing): Wait, wait… Hold the doors!
(conductor closes doors, woman glares at him)
Conductor: C’mon now… If you wanna get on my train, you best show some hustle!

–Times Square Subway Station

Overheard by: hustler

Thug #1: Yo, what we gonna do today?
Thug #2: Do like my man in Big Daddy do — we go to the park and watch people trip over shit!

–Shuttle to Times Square

Overheard by: MC

Bus driver: Move to the back of the bus. They’re giving free diamonds in the back of the bus. See that lady in the back for your free diamond. 

–M2 bus

Guy: I hate this city. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a production. 

–W 44th, near filming of Spiderman 3

Overheard by: Alex

Dude: Did you see that homeless guy’s sign? It said he wanted money for a hooker.
Chick: Really?
Dude: Yeah… Do you think a hooker has to sleep with a homeless guy if he has the money?
Chick: I don’t know…
Dude: Well, I guess if her pimp tells her she has to then she has to.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Eric

Man helping woman carry stroller down stairs: If you had taken the bloody pill when you said you were taking it, we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.

–Broadway‐Lafayette B/D/F/V Station

Overheard by: Jon A.

Man walking with girlfriend, loudly: Wait, did you bring your diaphragm?

–Times Square

Loud woman on cell: How many times do you have to have sex, and have a baby, before you realize: “If I have sex without a condom I will get someone pregnant.”? Seriously!

–Broadway & 103rd St

Overheard by: Amy

Guy on phone: I always tell people that sex with you with a condom is better than sex with other girls without a condom.

–Outside Trader Joe’s, 14th St

Zoo guide: This zoo likes to be careful with breeding animals by taking into account genes and the like. But then again, Zippy – the baby snow monkey – came along. So be careful with your birth control.

–Central Park Zoo, by the Snow Monkeys

Girl to another: I just don’t see why we can’t make our own condoms.

–14th St & 4th Ave

Girl: Why do you watch so much King of the Hill, anyway?
Hipster guy: I don’t know. I guess I just like Texas history.

–Virgin Megastore, Times Square