Woman: Does the breakfast burrito come with fries?
Waitress: Yes.
Woman: Uh-uh. I can’t be having a tortilla and potatoes — I’m working on my pretty.

–Blue Moon, 17th & 8th

Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson

Lady: Let me get a half pound of ham, sliced thin,
Deli guy: Is this thin enough?
Lady: Yeah, so long as I can watch TV through it.


Waspy girl to gaggle of friends: You know, medium-rare is, like, totally the new medium. You know what I mean? (friends stare blankly) No, I guess you wouldn't.

–6 Train

Overheard by: I Like Mine Bleeding

B&T CSR: Pork killed my father.

–80 Pine St

Overheard by: It's me

Stroller-pushing mom to friend: I gotta do something about her leg! It looks like freeze-dried meat.

–DeKalb & Washington, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Morning Glory

NYU girl to friend: My hair smells like meat.

–NYU Kimmel Center

Overheard by: evanescent

Girl to friend: This is my pi system: it's like a sausage.

–NYU Classroom

Man to can of corned beef: God, you understand me so well.

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: Murphy

Hobo: Spare some change?
Yuppie woman: Sorry. But would you like some prosciutto with melon?
Hobo: Yeah, okay.

–96th & CPW

Overheard by: Jill

Blonde girl: I really like martinis. They are probably my favorite drink.
Other blonde girl: Do you really like olives or something?
Blonde girl: No, I like to be drunk.

–43rd & Lexington

An unofficial memorial is covered with flowers, candles, cards and candy.

Drunk girl #1: Hey, who wants a Blow Pop?
Drunk guy: Um…I dunno.
Drunk girl #2: Don’t. It’s bad luck to take candy from the dead.
Drunk girl #1: …Yeah, I guess you’re right.

–3rd between A & B

Overheard by: The Vouk

Girl: Don’t die while I’m gone, okay?
Guy: Why not?

–66th & Columbus

Girl #1: I have raisins living in my bag.
Girl #2: … We really are the same person.

–Bard High School Early College

Whining young boy: I can handle it!
Stern mother: We have a dying hermit crab at home. You cannot handle it.
Whining young boy: But I'll feed it every day!

–3rd Ave & 16th Str

Tourist grandpa: I’m going to sit here. Do you want a snack?
Tourist grandson: Sure.
Tourist grandpa: Here’s some money. Go over there and buy yourself something. And if you can find somebody nice, ask where we can get some cheesecake.

–Greeley Square

Overheard by: Nick Turner

Hasidic boy: Poppola, I heard a rumor that when a cow gets a cut from the milking machine, and blood gets in the milk…they have to turn it into chocolate milk, so people won’t know it’s there.
Hasidic grandpa: We should be so lucky!

–4 train

Overheard by: Raden Mutter