Guy: So you’re saying tuna is really dolphin?
Lady: That’s why it says “Dolphin Safe”. It’s safe to eat even though it’s dolphin.
–Broadway & Worth
Guy: So you’re saying tuna is really dolphin?
Lady: That’s why it says “Dolphin Safe”. It’s safe to eat even though it’s dolphin.
–Broadway & Worth
Guy: Oh, excuse me!…Want to make out?
–Centre & Chambers
Overheard by: Chris
Older man: …so they served these smaller things, like appetizers, in between the three main courses. You know how many they gave us? Four! There were four intercourses…
–West 53 Street office
Girl on cell: He shoots dope and smokes crack! I can’t think of a worse person for you to sleep with!…well, yeah, I guess…
–81st & Madison
Girl: I’d blow him every day if he’d let me drive his beamer more.
–Sheep’s Meadow
Tween girl: Shit, if I were 21, and he was like, “Yo, do you want some
beer?”, I’d be like, “Shit, only if you got a hotel room.” ’cause then
we could, like, go in it.
–Starbucks, 34th & 7th
Overheard by: marissa
Daily News guy: …and I said, “Just take me now, bitch!”
–Bar 288, Elizabeth Street
DMV guy: Who’s here for oral? Did anyone in this line sign up for oral?
–DMV, Atlantic Avenue Center
Overheard by: RMC
Hispanic mom: How much is the popcorn?
Concession Stand guy: Well the medium is $5 and the large is $5.50.
Hispanic mom: What’s the difference? Is the large just bigger?
–Loews Lincoln Square, 68th Street
Overheard by: ~dana
Guy: Here’s a muffin.
Hobo: I don’t eat cake.
–3rd Avenue between Stuyvesant & St. Mark’s
Girl #1: …so I like tried it last night, and it wasn’t that bad and all…not like great, but not too gross or whatever. But then he like, wanted to jackoff on my Pop-Tart today, and I was like, “Yuck, get out!”
Girl #2: Do you think these sneakers are geeky?
–Battery Park
Sorority girl: No, really. My brother took acid, thought he could fly, and jumped out our second story window. This really happened.
–Columbia University Library
Overheard by: Michael Niederman
Hipster guy: I love fried chicken and cocaine.
–11th & B
Guy: Yeah, alcohol…It’s my anti-drug.
–45th & 9th
Overheard by: teo
White woman: Cough it up, Sadie! Cough it up!…Why would people put chicken bones in the garbage?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Carrie McLaren
Sandwich guy: Hey there pretty girl, you want your usual turkey sandwich?
Girl: Yes, please.
Sandwich guy: You’re the mayo girl, right?
Girl: No, mustard. So have you learned my sandwich yet?
Sandwich guy: Yes, of course. Ham?
Girl: No, turkey.
Sandwich guy: Lettuce and tomato, right?
Girl. No tomato.
Sandwich guy: Swiss cheese, right?
Girl: No, cheddar.
Sandwich guy: You said mayo?
–97th & Amsterdam deli
Girl #1: So I woke up with beans and rice in my bed again.
Girl #2: Hmmm, it sounds like the Mexican food fairies paid you another visit last night. I hate when that happens…you know, when I wake up next to a Twinkie.
–46th & Lexington
Girl #1: He was a great cook.
Girl #2: All the lunatics are, my dear.
–Vermicelli, 78th & 2nd
