Candidate lady: Hi! I’m running for City Council. I like your shirt. What does the C on it stand for?
Preppy girl: It stands for Crunk.
–1st & Houston
Son: What are they handing out?
Mom: They are trying to get people to vote for them.
Son: For Survivor?
–95th & 3rd
Two guys and a girl are walking down a street when a strange man sitting in an office chair rolls toward them.
Chair guy: Ah, this girl got two boyfriends! Mmm…Can a black man join the club? Can…a black man….join the club. Join the club.
–4th & Jane
Overheard by: marissa
Guy: But I want to sing karaoke!
Chick: Save that for the wedding singers…it’s their job!
–Grand & Lafayette
Suit: I mean, I felt like a complete idiot. I had no idea. You go to the Met and they’ll just give you a wheelchair. All this time I’ve been walking around the damn place! You don’t even have to have a note saying you’re handicapped or something.
–2nd Avenue & 13th Street
Cashier chick: Next guest, step down.
Guy: Yeah, can I have a small chicken burger?
–Wendy’s, 6th Avenue & W. 3rd Street
Overheard by: Scarlet
Girl #1: …I mean there was blood everywhere in that lobby! It was all over the walls, the lamps, the floors. And I was like, “What the fuck?”.
Girl #2: Well, obviously.
–Bleecker & West 10th
Chick #1: Oh look, you’ve got color back in your cheeks! What did they give you?
Chick #2: Oxygen.
–St. Vincent’s, W. 12th Street
Girl: You’re so autistic.
Guy: What? Do you mean artistic?
Girl: No, I mean autistic. Like Marlee Matlin.
–Washington Square Park
Guy on cell: Yeah, I’m wearing ahhh…a football jersey and Speedos.
–Houston & Allen
Overheard by: M!J
Guy #1: …So I say to him, “For the last time, give me back my robocock!”, ya know? He still has my robocock.
Guy #2: How long has he had it?
Guy #1: See, that’s not the point. He’s a bastard in retro clothing.
–7th & Bleecker
Overheard by: Deadboy
