The Village

Girl: Who’s playing tonight?
Guy: Coheed and Cambria.
Girl: Oh man, I shouldn’t have done all that acid.

–15th & Irving

White man: Yeah, and he has that puppet. I’m not sure if it’s a hand puppet or the kind with strings, but man, that shit used to fuck me up.

–Houston & Varick

Overheard by: Eve’s droppings

Lady: So if I get the eggs, what does that come with?
Waiter: Potatoes, toast…
Lady: What kind of potatoes?
Waiter: French fries.
Lady: What other kind of potatoes do you have?
Waiter: Mashed potatoes, baked potato…
Lady: Oh, those don’t go with eggs. Well, since it’s extra you can leave it off.
Waiter: The potatoes come with the eggs.
Lady: Can I substitute bacon?
Waiter: I can bring you a side of bacon.
Lady: How many strips come in a side, two or three?
Waiter: Three.
Lady: Can I just have two?

–University Restaurant, University Place

Girl #1: …was supposed to be there. You know, from The Golden Girls.
Girl #2: Oh yeah, what happened?
Girl #1: Didn’t show, I hear she’s a real bitch.
Girl #2: Isn’t she like really old now?
Girl #1: She was really old like 25 years ago.

–11th Street & 2nd Avenue

Overheard by: Eric

Candidate lady: Hi! I’m running for City Council. I like your shirt. What does the C on it stand for?
Preppy girl: It stands for Crunk.

–1st & Houston

Son: What are they handing out?
Mom: They are trying to get people to vote for them.
Son: For Survivor?

–95th & 3rd

Two guys and a girl are walking down a street when a strange man sitting in an office chair rolls toward them.

Chair guy: Ah, this girl got two boyfriends! Mmm…Can a black man join the club? Can…a black man….join the club. Join the club.

–4th & Jane

Overheard by: marissa

Guy: But I want to sing karaoke!
Chick: Save that for the wedding singers…it’s their job!

–Grand & Lafayette

Suit: I mean, I felt like a complete idiot. I had no idea. You go to the Met and they’ll just give you a wheelchair. All this time I’ve been walking around the damn place! You don’t even have to have a note saying you’re handicapped or something.

–2nd Avenue & 13th Street

Cashier chick: Next guest, step down.
Guy: Yeah, can I have a small chicken burger?

–Wendy’s, 6th Avenue & W. 3rd Street

Overheard by: Scarlet

Girl #1: …I mean there was blood everywhere in that lobby! It was all over the walls, the lamps, the floors. And I was like, “What the fuck?”.
Girl #2: Well, obviously.

–Bleecker & West 10th