The Village

Queer on cell: Oh my God, did you hear? Liz has a date…yeah, with a guy…a straight guy…

–Time Warner Center

Overheard by: Cole

Suit on cell: Hi, I’m in Chelsea. I just bought the We Love Disco CD and two porn magazines.

–22nd between 7th & 8th

Black guy: Damn, those horses is gay.

–Times Square

Overheard by: seth scott barkley

Queer on cell: Hey, I got here early. The Starbucks is closed for renovations, so why don’t we just skip to the blowjob?

–7th & Grove

Chick: He was getting blown by a trannie and right before he came he said, “get out of my car, you faggot” and that’s how he knew he wasn’t gay.

–W Hotel bar, Union Square

Overheard by: Somebody nowhere

Guy: I mean, he’s weird. He’ll let me make out with him, but he won’t share his salsa.

–Bond & Lafayette

Queer: First of all, if I was going to have an orgy at four in the morning, I would not have carne asada first. Pttth! Second of all…um…carne asada is not pre-orgy food.

–Barrage, West 47th Street

Overheard by: Nick Salvato

Queer: I’m never having sex with another virgin again. When the virgin is on the receiving end it can be such a pain in the…yeah.

–Bleecker & Macdougal

Woman on cell: Mom, he doesn’t have an accent, he’s gay!

–Madison & 52nd

Hobo: Do you have any spare change?
Guy: Sorry, no.
Hobo: Well, come back when you do.

–Orchard & Houston

Overheard by: Princessbeena

Dad on cell: So did they give me a credit?…What? It just says “from the New York Times” and not “from Jesse McKinley of the New York Times“?

–18th Street between 5th & 6th

Teen girl: This one’s kind of cross-eyed.
Teen guy: They’re porn star action figures. What do you want?
Teen girl: I want them to be just as hot as the real thing…and I want them to be glistening.

–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Place

Girl #1: …uh, strapless?
Girl #2: Yeah? Which one?
Girl #1: You know you just asked me what strap on I bought, right?
Girl #2: Oh, shit. I’m not very smart am I?

–Victoria’s Secret, Prince Street

Overheard by: Natalie

Sorority girl: No, really. My brother took acid, thought he could fly, and jumped out our second story window. This really happened.

–Columbia University Library

Overheard by: Michael Niederman

Hipster guy: I love fried chicken and cocaine.

–11th & B

Guy: Yeah, alcohol…It’s my anti-drug.

–45th & 9th

Overheard by: teo

Lady: Do you have a sushi menu?
Waiter: This is a Chinese restaurant.
Lady: …So no sushi?

–Suzie’s, Bleecker Street

Overheard by: Joey

Hobo: Excuse me, sir? You dropped some change.
Man: What? Where?
Hobo: Bam! In my cup!

–7th Avenue & 4th Street

Guy #1: How do you inhale the smoke like that?
Guy #2: You have to be able to breathe solely through your nostrils. I learned how by sucking a lot of dick.

–12th Street & 2nd Avenue

Hipster #1: Hey, how are you?
Hipster #2: Shh! Don’t talk to me now, I’m busy making love to my coffee.

–Houston & West Broadway

Overheard by: Lillian Goldstein