Chick #1: Oh look, you’ve got color back in your cheeks! What did they give you?
Chick #2: Oxygen.
–St. Vincent’s, W. 12th Street
Chick #1: Oh look, you’ve got color back in your cheeks! What did they give you?
Chick #2: Oxygen.
–St. Vincent’s, W. 12th Street
Girl: You’re so autistic.
Guy: What? Do you mean artistic?
Girl: No, I mean autistic. Like Marlee Matlin.
–Washington Square Park
Guy on cell: Yeah, I’m wearing ahhh…a football jersey and Speedos.
–Houston & Allen
Overheard by: M!J
Guy #1: …So I say to him, “For the last time, give me back my robocock!”, ya know? He still has my robocock.
Guy #2: How long has he had it?
Guy #1: See, that’s not the point. He’s a bastard in retro clothing.
–7th & Bleecker
Overheard by: Deadboy
Queer on cell: Oh my God, did you hear? Liz has a date…yeah, with a guy…a straight guy…
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: Cole
Suit on cell: Hi, I’m in Chelsea. I just bought the We Love Disco CD and two porn magazines.
–22nd between 7th & 8th
Black guy: Damn, those horses is gay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: seth scott barkley
Queer on cell: Hey, I got here early. The Starbucks is closed for renovations, so why don’t we just skip to the blowjob?
–7th & Grove
Chick: He was getting blown by a trannie and right before he came he said, “get out of my car, you faggot” and that’s how he knew he wasn’t gay.
–W Hotel bar, Union Square
Overheard by: Somebody nowhere
Guy: I mean, he’s weird. He’ll let me make out with him, but he won’t share his salsa.
–Bond & Lafayette
Queer: First of all, if I was going to have an orgy at four in the morning, I would not have carne asada first. Pttth! Second of all…um…carne asada is not pre-orgy food.
–Barrage, West 47th Street
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
Queer: I’m never having sex with another virgin again. When the virgin is on the receiving end it can be such a pain in the…yeah.
–Bleecker & Macdougal
Woman on cell: Mom, he doesn’t have an accent, he’s gay!
–Madison & 52nd
Hobo: Do you have any spare change?
Guy: Sorry, no.
Hobo: Well, come back when you do.
–Orchard & Houston
Overheard by: Princessbeena
Dad on cell: So did they give me a credit?…What? It just says “from the New York Times” and not “from Jesse McKinley of the New York Times“?
–18th Street between 5th & 6th
Teen girl: This one’s kind of cross-eyed.
Teen guy: They’re porn star action figures. What do you want?
Teen girl: I want them to be just as hot as the real thing…and I want them to be glistening.
–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Place
Girl #1: …uh, strapless?
Girl #2: Yeah? Which one?
Girl #1: You know you just asked me what strap on I bought, right?
Girl #2: Oh, shit. I’m not very smart am I?
–Victoria’s Secret, Prince Street
Overheard by: Natalie
Sorority girl: No, really. My brother took acid, thought he could fly, and jumped out our second story window. This really happened.
–Columbia University Library
Overheard by: Michael Niederman
Hipster guy: I love fried chicken and cocaine.
–11th & B
Guy: Yeah, alcohol…It’s my anti-drug.
–45th & 9th
Overheard by: teo
