Lady: Do you have a sushi menu?
Waiter: This is a Chinese restaurant.
Lady: …So no sushi?
–Suzie’s, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Joey
Lady: Do you have a sushi menu?
Waiter: This is a Chinese restaurant.
Lady: …So no sushi?
–Suzie’s, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Joey
Hobo: Excuse me, sir? You dropped some change.
Man: What? Where?
Hobo: Bam! In my cup!
–7th Avenue & 4th Street
Guy #1: How do you inhale the smoke like that?
Guy #2: You have to be able to breathe solely through your nostrils. I learned how by sucking a lot of dick.
–12th Street & 2nd Avenue
Hipster #1: Hey, how are you?
Hipster #2: Shh! Don’t talk to me now, I’m busy making love to my coffee.
–Houston & West Broadway
Overheard by: Lillian Goldstein
Chick #1: I don’t know what’s up with her.
Chick #2: Yeah, it’s like she’s got some kinda fabric up her ass.
–Christopher Street
Overheard by: Marco Romano
Girl #1: She looks so good now, though!
Girl #2: Yeah, well, if she would keep a meal down once in a while she might not…
–9th Avenue & Little West 12th Street
Overheard by: Wyatt Neumann
Girl #1: They were all wondering why I wasn’t eating, and they kept asking me to eat something, so I just finally had a sandwich to shut them up. So when I went back to the hotel, I threw up.
Girl #2: I totally understand, I would have done the same thing.
–NYSC locker room, 23rd & Park
Blonde: I hate Anne Rice.
Brunette: Me too! Isn’t she dead?
Blonde: Oh God, no! Remember, she’s writing that Jesus novel?
Brunette: Oh right. For some reason I always think she’s dead.
–The Strand
Overheard by: Sexy Beast
Girl #1: Stop coughing! Who the fuck do you think you are?
Girl #2: John Lennon.
Girl #1: No. You’re not.
–6th Avenue & 11th Street
Lesbian #1: Huh. There seems to be a disproportionate number of queers around here.
Lesbian #2: Darling, we’re on Christopher Street.
–Christopher Street
Boy: Mom, I want gadgets!
Mother: No, Trevor. Not those gadgets.
–Christopher Street
Thug #1: Why would I pay $170 for new Jordans, when I can pay $250 for a pair of Pradas?
Thug #2: I hear dat.
Thug #1: Plus I’m sure to get more ass in Pradas.
–JFK Airtrain
Overheard by: les koh
Latin guy: What are you staring at?
White guy: I can’t get over how beautiful the bartender is. Look at her, she looks like a movie star.
Latin guy: That’s a guy.
White guy: I know.
–The Stonewall, Christopher Street
Chick on cell: Yo, I’m going to that gay parade, those people are doin’ it. Those boys be makin’ each other cum.
–Target, Atlantic Avenue
Guy: I got both, bitch! I got a pussy and a dick!
–6th Avenue & 9th Street
Chick: He was my rag guy! What am I going to do now? I’m gonna dry up. If you stick your ear up to my vagina you’re going to hear the fucking desert like it’s a seashell.
–43rd & 5th
Overheard by: James Wilson
Burkha woman: …when you remove a man’s genitals, it’s a sin.
–Port Authority
Guy on cell: I’m busy. I’m getting my dick sucked right now.
–4 train
Overheard by: LatiE
Guy: It wasn’t till I started college that I realized they had botched the circumcision. We had all just flopped them out and I was like, “Dude, what is wrong with yours?”, and they were like, “No man, it’s you, what the fuck happened to you? It looks like the fucking rings of saturn.”
–38th & 3rd
Suit: If you’re a dick you can do anything.
–Maiden Lane & Pearl Street
Overheard by: SKG
Man on cell: So I was trying to take a pee and she kept talking to me, so then my dick got hard and I couldn’t pee.
–25th & 5th
Overheard by: Ian Wheeler-Nicholson
Lady on cell: He’s a hermaphrodite…he was born that way…his grandparents, thats why. Genetic mutations and stuff.
–50th & Madison
Chick: But he has a pierced dick! They don’t sell that shit in stores!
–SI party
Overheard by: Rebecca Dash
