Woman #1: Oh my god! I need to lose weight!
Woman #2: You do not need to lose weight. You’re married!
–Bathroom, Otto Pizza, 8th & 5th
Overheard by: Barista
Woman #1: Oh my god! I need to lose weight!
Woman #2: You do not need to lose weight. You’re married!
–Bathroom, Otto Pizza, 8th & 5th
Overheard by: Barista
Boy: Where did Mama go?
Dad: To the ladies’ bathroom. She’s a lady.
Boy: She’s not a lady!
Dad: She’s not?
Boy: No way!
–Waldorf-Astoria men’s room
Man #1: Someone took a shit in the sink.
Man #2: It happens. This is New York.
–Men’s Room, Port Authority
Tourist lady #1: I can’t believe they only have five stalls in here!
Tourist lady #2: Oh, you just wait until you get into the city — there’s less there!
Tourist lady #1: Oh…
Tourist lady #2: Yeah, you’ll be peeing in your cup!
Woman stranger in stall: I’ve done that!
–Bathroom, JFK
Dude #1: …so do you think I can have dibs on her, or is that not a good idea?
Dude #2: What do you mean?
Dude #1: Well, she had an abortion six weeks ago.
Dude #2: Oh dude, what are you doing!?
Dude #1: Yeah, but can't she not get pregnant because she just had an abortion?
Dude #2: Oh, that's a good point. I don't think that works like that…
Dude #1: But it was six weeks ago.
Dude #2: Oh, I thought you said six months ago! Yeah, man, you got a sweet deal there. I can't believe your luck, where do you keep meeting these women!?
–Bathroom, Fordham University
Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand
Woman #1: So you never finished telling me that story about whatshisname…Come over here and tell me while I dookie.
Woman #2: Uh…
Woman #1: What? Don’t act like I don’t tell you shit while you’re on the toilet!
–Port Authority ladies’ room
Overheard by: elizabeth kim
Chick #1: You shave? You have to show me how to do that!
Chick #2: It’s easy! Just remember to always shave down, not up — never, ever shave up!
–Bathroom, Essex between Rivington & Delancey
Overheard by: disgusted
Little boy in stall: Mmeeaahaaaaeeah!
Slightly older boy outside stall: Stop it!
Little boy in stall: Boobies!! Boobies!! Boobies!! Boobies!!
–Bathroom, Bruno, E 58th St
Overheard by: I’ll have what he’s having.
Girl #1: He has no idea how good this pussy is.
Girl #2: He’s just taking your pussy for granted. You know what you need?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: A new booty call.
Girl #1: I don’t have time for a new booty call. He just needs to learn how good my pussy is.
–The Riviera ladies’ room, W. 4th Street
Overheard by: Lela Justin
Maintenance worker: I got no problem with him, but he shouldn’t be touching my nipple.
–Women’s rest room, Grand Central Station
