Girl: Mom, how long do you think the turtle will live?
Mother: What do I look like, a fucking turtle connoisseur?
–Canal & West Broadway
Overheard by: David Kopach
Girl: Mom, how long do you think the turtle will live?
Mother: What do I look like, a fucking turtle connoisseur?
–Canal & West Broadway
Overheard by: David Kopach
Girl: Stop flirting with me, my friend just died.
–Central Park SummerStage
Girl #1: She’s such a cranky hobag slut.
Girl #2: I love how we call her “slut” and she’s never even had sex with another cat. Ever.
–Williamsburg coffee shop
Girl: So a midget construction worker hit on me yesterday.
Guy: A midget construction worker? What was he building? Dollhouses?
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: Laura Lou
Girl #1: Whoa man, you look totally creepy. Like a creepy molester.
Girl #2: It’s a molestache!
–B-Side, Avenue B
Queer: Do you know why else I want to move to London? Camdentown. There are lots of punks.
Chick: But wouldn’t there also be a lot of white supremacists?
Queer: I could do white supremacists.
Chick: But aren’t they also homophobic?
Queer: No, just repressed.
–Law office, 50th & 8th
Snack guy: Peanuts! Get your peanuts here! Buy one, get the second for the same price!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: HelloClairice
Suit #1: He basically crawled up my ass and started punching me from the inside.
Suit #2: Nice picture, dude. Christ.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Brett
Girl on cell: I’m here in Harlem right next to Yankee Stadium.
–4 train
Woman: It’s a good thing we got here early. I don’t want to miss the kickoff.
–Shea Stadium
Chick #1: Boo, you’re gonna miss!
Chick #2: Aren’t you cheering for the wrong team?
Chick #1: I wasn’t cheering, I was making an ominous prediction.
–Richmond County Ballpark
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Guy #1: I thought that girl was his daughter. He has to be in his 50s.
Guy #2: I know, it’s skeeving me right out.
Guy #1: What do you think? She’s 22 or 23?
Guy #2: Dude, she’s a hard 18 tops.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Todd Horan
Girl #1: What do you mean, there’s an Indian Ocean?
Girl #2: Of course there’s an Indian Ocean.
Girl #1: Where is it?
–Bryant Park
Girl #1: Oh, I totally loaded my pants.
Girl #2: For reals?
Girl #1: Yeah, you gotta come look at this shit.
Girl #2: Wow, what did you eat?
–Manhattan Mall ladies’ room
Girl #1: …was supposed to be there. You know, from The Golden Girls.
Girl #2: Oh yeah, what happened?
Girl #1: Didn’t show, I hear she’s a real bitch.
Girl #2: Isn’t she like really old now?
Girl #1: She was really old like 25 years ago.
–11th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Eric
