New wave girl #1: Are you seriously gonna go back to his place with him?
New wave girl #2: No, not seriously.
–7th & A
Overheard by: saphin
New wave girl #1: Are you seriously gonna go back to his place with him?
New wave girl #2: No, not seriously.
–7th & A
Overheard by: saphin
Daughter: What’s on your leg?
Mother: It’s cellulite, all women have it. And if you think the women you see in magazines don’t, they do. They just get it covered up in their pictures by a special pen called an airbrush.
Daughter: Will I get cellulite?
Mother: Yes, soon.
–Century 21, Cortlandt Street
Girl: Is that soup place the Soup Nazi? Did he go out of business?
Guy: Yeah, ever since Soup V.E. Day…
–55th & 8th
Overheard by: Lindsay Robertson
Chick #1: Look, look, it’s that school. You know they be smokin’ ‘n shit over there!
Chick #2: Yeah, why you think we used to go up in there? I love that school, they be doing X in there ‘n shit. Everybody be chillin’ in da hallways doin’ whateva, makin’ out ‘n shit, you know?
Chick #3: For real?
Chick #2: Why you think we used to hang out there?
–D train
Overheard by: CM
Girl #1: Get me something else at the bar?
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I’ve run out of alcohol to go with my champagne.
–Central Park boathouse
Guy: Yeah, they had the baby, named her Maybe, and–
Girl: Wait, they named her Maybe? As in M-A-Y-B-E?
Guy: Uh, yeah. Maybe. But I think it might be spelled differently.
Girl: That’s odd, really a weird baby name.
Guy: Yes, yes it is. But it’s sort of like, maybe she’s theirs, maybe she’s not.
–L train
JHS girl #1: Bitch, I will beat your ass!
JHS girl #2: I’ll beat your mother’s ass!
JHS boy: Y’all two are making my dick hurt.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Gus Colletti
Girl on cell: Wait, you mean John? Like, John John?
–Astor Place
Girl #1: …and I told him, he was going over there all the time and letting the dog lick in the face and kiss him.
Girl #2: And now he gots herpes of the mouth and shit.
–Bushwick
Overheard by: Spider
Mom: Why don’t you like to play with Tommy? He likes to play with you when you get home from school.
Little girl: I’m very busy, you know. At 6:00, I eat dinner. At 7:00, I brush my teeth. At 8:00, I do my homework. At 9:00 I go to bed. I’m sorry, but Tommy will just have to take a number.
–M14 bus
Chick #1: Y’all heard Denelle pregnant?
Chick #2: Damn, I can’t imagine tryin ta have no baby. If I had a baby then I couldn’t hang out wit y’all no more.
Chick #3: Shit, we need to git you a man, then. I’m tired o’ yo broke ass!
–D train
