Girl: I like dogs!
Guy: Yeah, right.
Girl: Actually I’m violently allergic to them.
–Houston & Eldridge
Girl: I like dogs!
Guy: Yeah, right.
Girl: Actually I’m violently allergic to them.
–Houston & Eldridge
The subway doors open. A hobo enters, holding a bottle of windex in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other.
Hobo: Which is the better time to read Dostyevsky? Winter?
He sprays the windex.
Hobo: Or Spring?
He squeezes toothpaste out of the tube.
Japanese girl: Spring!
Hobo: You are correct.
–F train
Overheard by: Pete Johnson
Drunk: Miss, do you think I could sit next to you for a moment, just a moment, and you could smell me and tell me whether I smell like I’ve been drinking?
Girl: No.
Drunk: Why not?
Girl: Because I don’t want to have to smell anyone.
Drunk: Well fuck you too.
–168th Street station
Girl #1: Damn, what’s this fucking smell?
Girl #2: It’s your mouth next to your nose.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Leticia
Chick #1: Is that your cell phone ringing?
Chick #2: Julie, those are birds.
–Central Park tennis courts
Overheard by: Susan Vrona Bijina
Little girl: Do I have to shave all over my body when I grow up? Where will I have to shave most? Where don’t I have to shave? Tell me, you’re old, you should know.
–New York Hall of Science, Flushing
Overheard by: Ting
NYU Chick: 2G? Does that mean it’s on the ground floor?
–11th between Broadway and University
Woman: Would it help to keep a couple dead deer lying around to scare the other ones away?
–Union Square Greenmarket
Teen girl #1: Noooo! Getting your cooch pierced be a bad idea. You know how much that shit hurts?
Teen girl #2: No shit! That’s why I’m gonna be on E at the time. You think I’m stupid enough to do it sober?
–Columbus Circle station
Overheard by: Djlindee
Chick #1: She spent the whole summer blowing guys in the top bunk.
Chick #2: That’s gross.
Chick #1: Yeah, I woke up one morning and she was like, “I hope I didn’t keep you up with my fellatio”, and I was like, “No, I got a phone call and I don’t need to hear about your sex life.”
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: Wilsun Filups
Girl #1: So you have a hot gyno?
Girl #2: No, he’s just my regular doctor.
Girl #1: Oh.
Girl #2: Yeah.
–Art Bar, 8th Avenue
Girl: Where are you taking me?
Guy: Home.
Girl: No, seriously?
Guy: Home, you think I’m kidding?
Girl: …seriously?
Guy: We’re going to my place, yeah. Why?
Girl: I just met you.
They both got out of the subway together.
–2 train
Overheard by: charlie moreno
