Chick: When I first got here from Jersey, I thought I’d let it all out, live my own life, but I quickly realized that was a bad idea.
–Blue Ribbon Sushi, Soho
Overheard by: Abby
Law Student: The Nation is too conservative for her.
–Fordham Law
Overheard by: Patrick Smith
Guy: Where do you live again?
Girl: Right over there.
Guy: Can I walk you home?
Girl: But it’s right over there…
–Orchard Street
Girl on phone: I forget what the BD stands for, but I’m pretty sure the SM stand for sado-masochism. My ad was in the platonic section, anyway.
–60th & Columbus
Overheard by: Alaska
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Have you heard of this play Medea?
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Yeah, that’s a good play. Have you heard of Arthur Miller?
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Who?
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Arthur Miller. He wrote Death of a Salesman.
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: No.
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Oh, he died last week. He was 89.
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Wow, that’s terrible. I didn’t even know that and I deliver newspapers.
–They Might Be Giants in-store, Border’s, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Monica
Chick #1: …and I swear my head rammed into the wall and it’s that cheap crappy sheet rock and there’s a hole in it now. I’m gonna tell him to write his name on it!
Chick #2: Oh, he’ll probably like that.
–The Gap, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
A ghetto guy checks out a girl’s ass and says: Damn, yo. I had one like that back in ’88. When I was workin’ in the mailroom.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Zander
Girl: There is no sperm in the period! Jeez, you’re a moron.
–Lincoln Center
Teen Girl 1: Omigod, she totally promised to stay after and help me take audition pictures, and she bailed on me.
Teen Girl 2: Yeah, she’s like the French: “Ve vill help you America! Zhust kidding…ve have to go drink coffee and eat croissants now!”
–Lincoln Center
Girl with hideous fur hat: How were the interviews today?
Girl with birkenstocks and socks: They didn’t hire the black candidate. They suck.
Girl with hideous fur hat: Why not?
Girl with birkenstocks and socks: Because he had a big dick, duh.
Girl with hideous fur hat: Oh, OK.
–5th Avenue & 54th Street
Overheard by: Julia
Girl: So then I asked everyone, “Who’s ever had anal?” and then he turned around…
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
Girl: Cattle? Who said anything about cattle? Now chickens…they’re fun to molest sometimes.
–Fort Greene
Girl: Well, Shakespeare thought women were more smart.
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: nappytee
