Stupidity

Teen boy: My puppy is probably going to die soon.
Teen girl: Aw, when?
Teen boy: Probably by next September, he’ll be a corpse.
Teen girl: Wait, why?
Teen boy: He has obsessive-compulsive disorder.

–Central Park

Girl #1: Wow, your eyes look totally awesome. Is that from the pot?
Girl #2: Yeah, I think so.
Girl #1: It’s so cool. They look amazingly green.

–N train

Girl: I was afraid the cab driver wasn’t going to take us to Brooklyn!
Guy: I know, he seemed annoyed when we said Brooklyn.
Girl: I mean, on Sex and the City they could never get a cab into Brooklyn.

–F train

Drunk girl: Can you tell me where 3rd and 12th is?
Guy: You’re standing on it.
Drunk girl: Do you know where Bar None is?
Guy: Right under that huge Bar None sign.

–3rd Avenue between 12th & 13th

Overheard by: kristcollekt

Guy #1: Polo is like, the hardest sport to play on the planet.
Guy #2: Uh huh.
Girl: Aside from space travel.

–Columbia University

Conductor: This is a Queens-bound G train.
Girl #1: This train is going to Queens?
Girl #2: But we’re going to Greenpoint!
Woman: This goes to Greenpoint.
Girl #2: Greenpoint is in Queens?
Girl #3: I thought it was in Manhattan.

–G train

Overheard by: p

Tween girl: Are there two Union Squares?

–Union Square West

Overheard by: jessica castro

Woman: I love to cycle myself. You might not believe it, but I’m very good at it.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. I come from the West, where I used to ride really strenuous courses.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. And you know, if they grew some mountains in New Jersey or something, I could do the same here.

–1 train

Girl: I heard that it costs more to execute someone than to keep them in jail for 40 years.
Guy: Yeah, I heard that too. You know, because of the electricity.

–F train

Overheard by: Amber

Tourist woman #1: I’d like to speak to a nun.
Receptionist lady: The nuns don’t talk to the public. You can meet with a priest. He’ll be available in an hour. Is anything wrong?
Tourist woman #1: We were going up for communion and the minister asked my friend if she was Catholic.
Receptionist lady: Is she Catholic?
Tourist woman #2: I’m Methodist. We take communion too.

— St. Patrick’s Cathedral Rectory

Overheard by: Traveler Bill