Chick: I just don’t want any commitments right now.
Dude: Can we still be fuck-buddies?

Caribou Coffee
Mendota Heights, Minnesota

Creepster: The penis hole showcases my spare tire rather well.


Teen girl on cell: Yeah, I couldn’t stop putting my tongue in them for, like, two months.

St. Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Anna

Dude: What are some words that rhyme with ‘chicken’?
Chick: Frickin’, lickin’, hair.
Dude: ‘Hair’ doesn’t rhyme with ‘chicken’!
Chick: Yeah, it does — chicken, hair; chicken, hair.
Dude: Yeah, I guess it kind of does.

Metro bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Blonde teen: Please don't pull my finger!
Brunette teen: Oh, gosh. Is this like that time in gym class?

Homecoming Football Game

Girl #1: And I was like: “How many depressed lab rats do you have to weigh and kill to figure that out?”
Girl #2: What?
Girl #3: 37.5, apparently.

Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota

Fashionable, ditzy young woman at cheese counter: A lot of girls cheat on their taxes because they just don't know how to do them.


Overheard by: dismayed feminist

Voice #1: I'm in the wrong bathroom!
Voice #2: I'm in the wrong bathroom, too!


Teen boy, jokingly: So, yeah — I was thinking about getting my testicles removed, so that way no one can kick me there anymore.
Teen girl, mortified: No, don’t! You need one to live!

Fairfax, Minnesota

Overheard by: Amused friend

Girl, getting wash and cut: Then I was walking around for a few months without an elbow.
Stylist: Wow!
Girl: So finally in July they put my elbow back in.
Stylist: Well, that's good.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: porkchop on a stick