Stupidity

Dowager: What we really need to do is to educate these poor people so they don’t have sex. It’s the poor people who keep spreading all the STDs and the AIDS. Do you know any rich people with STDs? I didn’t think so.

–MoMA cafe

Lady #1: I can’t believe she said those things. She was so politically incorrect.
Lady #2: Well what did you expect her to say?
Lady #1: Something humanly correct.

–Shubert Theatre, 44th Street

Office worker #1: Fred Wertheimer? He’s the husband of the fabulous Linda Wertheimer…
Office worker #2: Who is that?
Office worker #1: She is a really famous radio person on NPR.
Office worker #2: What is NPR?

–Midtown office

Black woman: White men are fucking idiots! They’re morons.

–M7 bus

Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer

Teenage boy: Man, I seen that guy Q…he’s all the time going to Coney Island.

–57th St. station (Q train terminal stop)

Italian guy: …so my nephew, right? He’s so stupid I gotta make him the lifeguard at my car wash!

–Taormina, Mulberry St.

Overheard by: Eric Rexilius

A record company assistant is flirting with an older music executive. She asks: Do you have a girlfriend?

He responds by holding out his hand with fingers extended to show his wedding band.

Assistant: You have five girlfriends?

–Joe’s Pub

Ballet boy: Is this the Piano Concerto choreographed by Balanchine?
Ballet girl: No.
Ballet boy: Then who is it?
Ballet girl: I don’t know. It’s like…ghetto.

–NYU Skirball Center

Guy #1: She stuck her lollipop in my mouth! And she has herpes!
Guy #2: She has herpes?
Girl: Well, everyone has herpes…

–Sin Sin, E. 5th Street

Overheard by: Jon Zebraskey

Old man: Lloyd. Proper name or suffix?

–2nd Ave. & 68th St.

Overheard by: Eric

Hippie: They gave Israel a nuclear submarine.
Companion: So they can fish?

–5th Ave. & 21st St.

Overheard by: MK and AT

HS girl: Now he’s in college, so he has his own friends.
HS guy: He’s at Sarah Lawrence.
HS girl: There are lots of people like him there.

–4 train

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Thug #1: I don’t live in the VHS era.
Thug #2: Naw, they got DVD tapes now.

–J train

Overheard by: Anna