Loud teen chick: You know, whenever I saw those really loud, annoying kids on the bus, I never thought I would be one of them!
Loud friend: Yeah! Me neither!
–82nd & Broadway
Overheard by: yoncto
Loud teen chick: You know, whenever I saw those really loud, annoying kids on the bus, I never thought I would be one of them!
Loud friend: Yeah! Me neither!
–82nd & Broadway
Overheard by: yoncto
New wave boy: You're like Lou Reed with a vagina.
New wave girl: Since when did he not have one?
Random stoner friend: Hey, do you want to get Indian food!?
New wave girl: What would Lou Reed do?
--2nd Ave &14th
Overheard by: Mischa
Girl #1: Why don’t you know these things?
Girl #2: Because I don’t read.
–123rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Guy: Naw, naw, I read that he died.
Girl: J.K. Rowling is a woman, and she’s not dead; she just wrote this book.
Guy: Naw…you sure? I really think I read that he died.
Girl: No! Anyway, she said that in the wizarding world, Muggles–
Guy: Muggles? Oh, is that one of those British words?
Girl: No, it’s just a word she made up.
Guy: Right, and we wouldn’t understand it here, because it’s one of them British words.
–M train
Overheard by: Kev
20‐something to friend: If I didn’t do so many drugs, I could probably afford to go skiing and shit like that.
–Williamsburg
Art school student: If I can stop doing heroin, I can do anything!
–Outside School of Visual Arts
Tourist guy to tourist friends: Yeah, I remember when he went to school on shrooms, and then he went to the principal and told him that he was on shrooms.
–40th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Bones Jones
Father to daughter: Don’t say “no” to drugs. Say “no, thank you.”
–45th St & 5th Ave
Blonde Catholic schoolgirl: Maybe after we pop the E we’ll roll over to 149th Street.
–Q88 Bus
Guy: How do you know I don’t have a uterus?
Girl: Because you’re too skinny to have one!
–Rooftop Party, South Williamsburg
Overheard by: wombat
Girl #1: My dad voted for Bush twice.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: He’s an old school Republican.
Girl #2: Wait, when did the Republicans turn into Democrats? After Roosevelt?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: bunny
Girl #1: I have raisins living in my bag.
Girl #2: … We really are the same person.
–Bard High School Early College
Girl: We can’t become gay just to fit in at this school!
–NYU
Passer‐by: I pay $40k a year for school, and that makes me better than you.
–NYU, Tisch
Overheard by: Dan Lurie
NYU girl at party: My parents are actually really into civil liberties.
–NYU Dorm
NYU chick to friend: I love coke! (passing white lady gives her a strange look) I meant the drink, not the drug, lady! Jeez, I’m a minority student at fucking NYU! You think I can afford a coke habit??
–8th & University
Overheard by: Melissa Perez
Gay NYU student, rolling around on the ground in student lounge: I am obsessed with the ground. I mean, who’s going to judge me? There’s like six million Asians here and none of them are gay.
–Tisch Hall, NYU
Mother, pushing crying two‐year‐old in stroller: They’re never going to accept you here if you keep screaming!
–NYU Admissions
Overheard by: Sam
Hipster chick #1: You know the girl I was telling you about, who didn’t even know what “agnostic” means?
Hipster chick #2: Yeah. That stupid bitch!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: reverie
Headline by: Coyoty
Runners‐Up:
· “Blessed Are the Stupid Bitches, for They Shall Infuriate the Self‐Righteous” — Cyrious Garnetski
· “I Believe That We Can Never Know If She Is a Stupid Bitch or Not.” — Hysterical Woman
· “I Hope She Burns In… Nothingness” — Meg
· “To Be Precise, She Said There Was No Way to Know What Agnostic Means” — Barry P.
· “Why Nuns Have Few Friends” — seven5suited
