Frat boy #1: She was so dumb.
Frat boy #2: You should watch how you use that word. It doesn’t really mean stupid — it really means ‘deaf.’
Frat boy #1: Okay, she was really deaf.

Colorado State University
Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: English Major

Flight attendant: Contrary to popular belief, pushing the button with the flight attendant on it will not turn your flight attendant on. So don't push it.

Flight to New York

Overheard by: Erica Lynn

Guy, clueless: Wow, I can't believe Snape was evil the whole time!
Girl, exasperated: I can't believe I fuck you every night.

Cinema, after Harry Potter
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Ellen

Blonde girl entering the cafeteria: These lines are so long! Thank god I decided to be anorexic!

Mary Washington University
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Overheard by: waiting in line

Teenage girl on cell: I'm not saying that I want to be famous, I know not everyone can be famous, I'm just saying that's the one thing I've always, like, aspired to, just a beautiful connection.


Ditzy woman: It would look more like Australia if it was an island, because Australia is an island… right?
Ditzy woman's daughter: I think that's the smartest thing that's ever been said in my presence.
Ditzy woman: Well, somebody in this family has to be brilliant.
Four-year-old boy: Dogs are kinda like vampires because they both have pointy teeth.

Harrisburg, Illinois

Girl #1: He stabbed me in the face, but he awright.
Girl #2: (unintelligible)
Girl #1: Yeah! It's like he don't care about my well-being.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Guy: Obviously, you've never been to Singapore.
Girl: Obviously, you've never pleased a woman.

Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: bethany

Environmental science teacher: What, in your opinion, is the most pressing environmental issue our planet faces today?
Clueless redhead, raising hand unsurely: Is it… The birds?
Environmental science teacher: Excuse me?
Clueless redhead: Isn't there something up with birds? Like, aren't they dying or something?
Environmental science teacher: Um… Thousands of different animals are dying…
Clueless redhead: Oh. I thought it was just birds.

High School
Los Angeles, California

Student #1, viewing political cartoons of Egypt: There's a face on that rock!
Student #2: Because it's the sphynx!

New Hampshire