Blonde girl: Whats with the eye patch?
Girl with eye patch: Oh my god, I tried to take out my contact but it was already out, so I ended up peeling off my cornea or something!
Blonde girl: Ew! You should wear two contacts, so that doesn't happen again.

Carbondale, Illinois

Overheard by: screaming on the inside

Six-year-old boy holding “pillow pet”, singing: It's a pillow, it's a pet, it's a pillow pet! (then, whispering to himself) This isn't as cool as I thought it would be…

White Plains, New York

Overheard by: M

Teen girl to another, while browsing CDs: Like, alphabetical order is so confusing.

Music Store
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Justin

Younger heavy metal guy with older coworkers: I never find the right size of long johns in the winter, so I buy women's tights instead. (older coworkers look at him in shock) What? I was kidding! Morning humor, you know.
Macho guy sitting behind: Yeah, women's tights make your junk look bigger!

Commuter Train

Overheard by: strictly boxers.

Stodgy, old-fashioned professor: It's your birthday? I didn't know, you must not have put it on Facebook.

St. John's

Overheard by: Mel

Frat boy: Indian food can't be any good! I mean, if it was, they'd have chain restaurants!

Washington, DC

Teenager #1: Wanna rent Untraceable?
Teenager #2: Oh, that's like that movie where they can't trace him.

Vestavia Hills, Alabama

Overheard by: Keith

Boy: Have you seen Rainman?
Friend: Nah.
Boy: Ohmigod, I can't believe you haven't seen Rainman! I mean I haven't seen Rainmanbut I can't believe you haven't seen Rainman!

Newcastle-Sydney Train

Professor: I just think of this class as 40 days in a row and then it’s over. Like the Jews in Egypt.
Student: It was 40 years.
Professor: 40 years, 40 days. Same difference.

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

19-year-old girlfriend: You're a silly goose!
19-year-old boyfriend: You are too!
19-year-old girlfriend: That's why we are dating!

Memphis, Tennessee