Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I'm going straight to the bridge, and I ain't stopping for no crack!
–Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St.
Overheard by: Dana
Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack…
–10th St & Ave A
Man to another as he walks away: Don't spend it all in one crackhouse.
–SoHo
Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don't walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday!
–Broadway & 96th St
Dorky bookstore guy: Teaching is like the biggest safety net of all.
Cute dorkette: You're my safety net!
Dorky bookstore guy, seeing her: Aw, you're my safety net.
–The Strand, Broadway & 12th St
Overheard by: Ian
Student #1: Is lettuce a vegetable?
Student #2: No. It's a salad.
–24th St & Lexington
Little girl: Daddy, why did that car just honk?
Father: Because they were from Jersey. (pause) People from Jersey are loud for no apparent reason.
–38th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Rosey
Young man: I don’t care what you say. I just wanna get a big stroller and have my wife push me around. I don’t care what you say. That’s pimp. That’s pimp.
–23rd & Broadway
Female suit on cell: And if we get custody, we can take the girls to North Carolina! Fuck it! Yeah, we can!
–37th St & Madison
Overheard by: catching a train
Little boy: Mommy, is California really far? Would we have to take the f train to get there?
–N Train
Crazy-eyed lady on subway: The public schools failed my son! He flunked out, and now he's getting all As in private school! We need to stop putting money into Georgia and put money into our schools! You know what else we need to do? We need to drill in Alaska, because if we don't, Russia's going to get a pipeline in there and take it all!
–Uptown R Train
Overheard by: Anna P.
20-something woman: I think he's just going to club me…and drag me back to Alaska.
–Bleecker & 11th
Overheard by: Imma club you
Father to five-year-old daughter touching signposts and cars: You can rub anything you want in Connecticut, honey, but we have to be careful in New York.
–Union Square
Thugette: Ohio was mad crazy. Hillbillies be fucking chillin' on the block. Ain't no one had teeth! No one! You ever seen one of those movies where some white guy goes fucking crazy and kills, like, ten people? Like he's walking down the street and just stabs a cat in the neck? It was like that.
–V Train
Guy #1: Don’t throw away that Gatorade bottle! I gotta do something.
Guy #2: …Right now?
Guy #1: Yeah!
Guy #2: There’s a pizza place right there!
Guy #1: They won’t let me use theirs! Don’t you throw that bottle away!
–25th & 2nd
Arts Club guy: Hello, young woman! How may I help you?
Shaved head woman: Uh…can we get some drinks?
Arts Club guy: This is a private club. We’re closed.
Shaved head woman: Well, I am a member.
Arts Club guy: If you were a member, you would know that we were closed.
–National Arts Club, Gramercy Park South
Overheard by: Olivia + Will Halman
Girl to friend: Whenever I get a really big booger, I feed it to the dog.
–Apartment Building, Midtown
Girl: And the doctor asked if she'd gone down on anyone lately, and she said "yeah, and when I was doing it, all these little bumps kept falling off in my mouth," and the doctor said "you have genital warts in your throat."
–L Train
Overheard by: atrain
Man on cell: And he opened a can of worms, ate the whole thing and then spit it all into his friend's mouth. We were dry heaving. But everyone just looked at us weird.
–1st & 15th
Overheard by: Angela
Preteen boy on cell: (belches) Huh? (belches again, loudly) What did you say? I can't hear you, I'm burping.
–77th & 2nd
Girl to friend: My dad would say, "don't send her chocolate, it makes mucus."
–W 24th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Suit #1: Dude, that is disgusting! Did he like it?
Suit #2: He said it tasted like chicken…
Suit #1: Dude!
–33rd & Madison
Overheard by: SUSAN
