Young man: I don’t care what you say. I just wanna get a big stroller and have my wife push me around. I don’t care what you say. That’s pimp. That’s pimp.
–23rd & Broadway
Young man: I don’t care what you say. I just wanna get a big stroller and have my wife push me around. I don’t care what you say. That’s pimp. That’s pimp.
–23rd & Broadway
Female suit on cell: And if we get custody, we can take the girls to North Carolina! Fuck it! Yeah, we can!
–37th St & Madison
Overheard by: catching a train
Little boy: Mommy, is California really far? Would we have to take the f train to get there?
–N Train
Crazy-eyed lady on subway: The public schools failed my son! He flunked out, and now he's getting all As in private school! We need to stop putting money into Georgia and put money into our schools! You know what else we need to do? We need to drill in Alaska, because if we don't, Russia's going to get a pipeline in there and take it all!
–Uptown R Train
Overheard by: Anna P.
20-something woman: I think he's just going to club me…and drag me back to Alaska.
–Bleecker & 11th
Overheard by: Imma club you
Father to five-year-old daughter touching signposts and cars: You can rub anything you want in Connecticut, honey, but we have to be careful in New York.
–Union Square
Thugette: Ohio was mad crazy. Hillbillies be fucking chillin' on the block. Ain't no one had teeth! No one! You ever seen one of those movies where some white guy goes fucking crazy and kills, like, ten people? Like he's walking down the street and just stabs a cat in the neck? It was like that.
–V Train
Guy #1: Don’t throw away that Gatorade bottle! I gotta do something.
Guy #2: …Right now?
Guy #1: Yeah!
Guy #2: There’s a pizza place right there!
Guy #1: They won’t let me use theirs! Don’t you throw that bottle away!
–25th & 2nd
Arts Club guy: Hello, young woman! How may I help you?
Shaved head woman: Uh…can we get some drinks?
Arts Club guy: This is a private club. We’re closed.
Shaved head woman: Well, I am a member.
Arts Club guy: If you were a member, you would know that we were closed.
–National Arts Club, Gramercy Park South
Overheard by: Olivia + Will Halman
Girl to friend: Whenever I get a really big booger, I feed it to the dog.
–Apartment Building, Midtown
Girl: And the doctor asked if she'd gone down on anyone lately, and she said "yeah, and when I was doing it, all these little bumps kept falling off in my mouth," and the doctor said "you have genital warts in your throat."
–L Train
Overheard by: atrain
Man on cell: And he opened a can of worms, ate the whole thing and then spit it all into his friend's mouth. We were dry heaving. But everyone just looked at us weird.
–1st & 15th
Overheard by: Angela
Preteen boy on cell: (belches) Huh? (belches again, loudly) What did you say? I can't hear you, I'm burping.
–77th & 2nd
Girl to friend: My dad would say, "don't send her chocolate, it makes mucus."
–W 24th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Suit #1: Dude, that is disgusting! Did he like it?
Suit #2: He said it tasted like chicken…
Suit #1: Dude!
–33rd & Madison
Overheard by: SUSAN
Woman getting haircut: So it all began when I was dating an Italian underwear model…
Hairdresser (after a short pause): Yes?
Woman: He was the worst fuck of my life!
–Institu Salon, 19th & Irving
Guy on cell: Wow! That's a lot of cookies. If I had that many cookies, I'd put a couple of them in my ass. (pause). It doesn't matter, I've got the space. I can't eat that many cookies.
–23rd & Lexington
Teen girl to teen boy: Unless you want a 9 millimeter stuck up your asshole.
–Grand Central Terminal
Girl on cell: Well, it's still rectal.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
20-something girl to 20-something guy, quite loudly: Yeah, but putting a metal spike up his ass wasn't exactly what I had in mind!
–28th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Jar Aaron
20-something woman: Baby, I think we're going to keep the Thanksgiving dinner out of my asshole.
–Herkimer St., Brooklyn
Overheard by: M. Fresh
Girl: I didn’t know my brother was going to be at the party! And he was in a sarong!
–Park Ave S & E 25th
Guy on cell: No, no. You can wear hats on the internet.
–Smith & Wyckoff, Cobble Hill
Man eating brunch to male friend: We both came out seven years ago. We are puppy gay in dog years.
–Big Daddy’s Diner
Overheard by: Morgan
Very loving mom talking to daughter about her son: Hey! He is not an animal, he is not a dog. Well, at least not today!
–Hell’s Kitchen
Outraged woman to man: What? No! Do not put the dog in the furnace, Ted!
–Court Street
Chick with cigarette, on cell: … Leathery fetish dog-masks, or just Halloween style dog-masks?
–Outside Tagine, 40th & 9th
Overheard by: Ladle
Philosophical suit: The only reason I haven’t divorced my wife is because of the dog.
–Upper East Side
