Murray Hill and Gramercy

Just When You Think Lesbian Porn Can't Get Any Better

Woman #1: Wow, those fingerless gloves are great! You look like you could get into a fistfight, but in a totally adorable way!
Woman #2: It would be the cutest, fuzziest, bluest fight ever!

–5th & 22nd

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Suit #1: There was some great tail at that funeral.
Suit #2: Oh yeah!

–28th & 5th

Overheard by: brp

Cute JAP talking about all the stuff she gets: I don't need a man, I have my mom.

–Rare View Bar

Overheard by: white guy

Blonde girl to male friend: Listen, John. Fifteen minutes, your mom. Fifteen minutes, your mom.

–R Train

Annoying 40-something new mom: A good mom always has a diaper in her pocket!

–Barnes & Noble, 18th & 5th

Overheard by: I Am McLovey

Coworker: I got a bootleg mother.


Window-shopping tourist to wife: Look, honey! It's the dress your mother wore when they buried her!

–Union Square

Overheard by: CJ

Guy: I go over to the house for Mother's Day and she yells at me for not calling her for Mother's Day like my brother did. So I go outside and call her from my cell and say "happy Mother's Day!" and she yells at me for being an idiot.

–37th & 7th

Guy #1: Hey…Sam?
Guy #2: No…Sam’s my brother.
Guy #1: Oh…sorry. Dude, you look just like him.
Guy #2: Well, we’re brothers.
Guy #1: Me and my brother don’t look anything alike.
Guy #2: Huh. Guess your mother was a whore.

–37th & 3rd

Man on cell: Yeah, so do you know that show Dancing with the Stars? They got the idea for it from the camera in my shower.

–6th Ave & 55th St

Overheard by: Alicia

Aging badass to lady friend: Yeah, I totally got escorted out of a Tom Petty concert for dancing in the aisles.

–17th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Original Badass

Black guy: Hey everybody! Stop what you're doing! There's two black guys about to dance on this train! That's something you don't see often!

–A Train

Flamboyant gay man to friend: You can't sashay in there. There's no room to sashay at all.

–Outside LGBT Community Center, during Fur Ball

Overheard by: pandarants

Drunk Asian girl: It's always time to dance in North Korea.

–2nd St & Ave B

Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I'm going straight to the bridge, and I ain't stopping for no crack!

–Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St.

Overheard by: Dana

Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack…

–10th St & Ave A

Man to another as he walks away: Don't spend it all in one crackhouse.


Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don't walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday!

–Broadway & 96th St

Dorky bookstore guy: Teaching is like the biggest safety net of all.
Cute dorkette: You're my safety net!
Dorky bookstore guy, seeing her: Aw, you're my safety net.

–The Strand, Broadway & 12th St

Overheard by: Ian

Student #1: Is lettuce a vegetable?
Student #2: No. It's a salad.

–24th St & Lexington

Little girl: Daddy, why did that car just honk?
Father: Because they were from Jersey. (pause) People from Jersey are loud for no apparent reason.

–38th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Rosey

Young man: I don’t care what you say. I just wanna get a big stroller and have my wife push me around. I don’t care what you say. That’s pimp. That’s pimp.

–23rd & Broadway