Girl #1: We should go to a karaoke bar, get a whole bunch of people and get a room.
Girl #2: A room?
Girl #1: Yeah, they have private rooms.
Girl #2: Oh! So you don’t have to do it in front of fat people!
–11th Street between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Cait O’Connor
Queer #1: Oh my god, answering your cell phone is so out.
Queer #2: Oh, I know, nobody does it anymore.
Queer #1: Yeah, like, answering cell phones is so last year.
–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Trent Ward
Guy #1: Man, you gotta do more drugs.
Guy #2: Well I was trying last night.
–19th & 5th
New mom #1: I’ve been constipated for the past three months.
New mom #2: Tell me about it.
–Madison Square Park
Petition guy: Hi, are you a registered Democrat?
Dude: No, sex offender.
–20th & 1st
Chick: The problem with reading is that you can’t do it when you’re fucked up.
–31st & 2nd
Woman on cell: I’m so, like, a vegetarian, for real you know? But only, like, on Wednesdays.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Angela
Guy on cell: Dude did so much K that he turned into Terri Schiavo.
–Union Square
Chick: I know this guy who’s perfect for you…he’s a complete idiot.
–Columbia University
Guy: Wow, I didn’t even know things existed here.
–Port Authority, 2nd Floor
Guy: Well at one point he took off his boots, a while later tried to put them back on. I told him that they were the wrong feet. Then he looked at me and said, “No…these are my feet.”
–Hank’s Saloon, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Kimberly Handle
Woman on cell: Yeah, he told me the next day that he cried himself to sleep. I got so mad. I was like, “I don’t wanna hear that shit!”
–Target, Atlantic Avenue
Overheard by: alex
Chick: Is it really cheating if it only happened once?
–26th & Lexington
Guy on cell: Look, I’m driving so I can’t talk right now, ok? Good-bye…Fucking bitch, never leaves me alone.
–Burger King, Union Turnpike
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
Girl: So are we breakin’ up or what? It’s getting late!
–59th & Lexington
Overheard by: Mike
Yuppie #1: She had a great rack.
Yuppie #2: Couldn’t have been real.
Yuppie #1: Yeah, no way.
Yuppie #2: So you’re a rack guy, huh?
Yuppie #1: Nah, I’m an ass.
–18th & 5th
Overheard by: Debl Way
Girl on cell: Do you think any galleries will be open on Sunday?
–21st & Broadway
Woman: He didn’t come here to be Korean; he moved here to be a hipster. Then he realized he could open a store, and he turned Korean.
–2nd Avenue & 6th Street
Private School girl: So is, like, everything in this place by Chanel?
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Man: What do you mean, you ran out of keys? How does a hotel run out of keys?
–The Hotel on Rivington
Overheard by: Joe Quint
Queer: Well I figured I make $7 an hour at Journey’s working full time. So if I cut back to part time and get a second job making $7 an hour, I’ll be making $14 an hour and I can pay all my bills!
–Nederlander Theater, West 41st Street
Overheard by: Nomi Malone
Guy: …it’s just part of my ineffable charm!
Girl: If “ineffable” means “unfuckable” you’re right on the money.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Manhattman
