A hobo picked out two girls on line and started insulting them. When the police came to get him he started again.
Hobo: See this is what the White Man does! They’ve gotta protect these little Jewish girls from Long Island, don’t give a shit about proud Black men like me.
Girl: I’m Puerto Rican and from Brooklyn.
He attempts to high five her as the cops escort him away.
Hobo: Right on, sister!
–19th & Broadway
A crazy man is walking around with headphones and a walkman trying to interview people, using the walkman as a microphone.
Crazy man: Who loves New York? I love New York! How about you…Who loves New York?
He holds the “mic” up to the guy.
Guy: Is this for ABC?
Crazy man: Fuck ABC, Fuck NBC, Fuck CBC. This is me. Who loves New York?
–31st & 6th
Overheard by: P. Mills
Guy #1: You’ll figure it out when you move here…it’s like, I opened my first electic bill and said, “Wow, I really live in New York now!”
Guy #2: Right, it’s like when you’re killing someone with an axe, and you’re just hacking, and hacking, and hacking, and some blood splashes on your face and you’re like, “Oh yeah, I’m murdering someone!”
–E train
Overheard by: Kid W
Woman: Well, you know what I think? I think that the girlfriend has to die.
–Hudson Street elevator
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Guy on cell: Yeah, the dude got shot in the face. Isn’t that awesome?
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: toon
Queer #1: Honey, my vagina is itchy.
Queer #2: So scratch it.
–16th & 8th
Overheard by: Winnie
Tourist guy #1: So what countries make up the Netherlands?
Guide: The Netherlands are one country. It’s also called Holland.
Tourist guy #1: Oh, yeah. Sorry. How about The Hague? Is that one of the countries in the Netherlands?
Guide: Ahhhhh.
Tourist guy #2: You’re all confused! It’s all about Benelux! That’s Holland, The Hague, and The Lux. They’re all sort of together in the EU.
Tourist #1: The EU?
Guide: …and right over there is Roosevelt Island.
Tourist #1: Oh, I’ve heard of that! Is that in New York or Brooklyn?
–The UN
Overheard by: Darko Vather
Chick #1: Close your mouth, your breath stinks!
Chick #2: No, it doesn’t.
Chick #1: Listen, you open your mouth, people can smell your shit. You should be the first one knowing your breath stinks. The air goes right up to your nose first anyway!
–Church & Murray
Chick: I got a washing machine at home but it don’t fit. I got too many clothes.
Guy: Ain’t you never heard of loads?
Chick: What you mean?
Guy: Doing it once at a time.
Chick: Shoot, I be doing clothes forever if I do that shit.
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Trish
Hobo #1: Check this out.
He spits something across the car.
Hobo #2: What was that?
Hobo #1: Tooth.
Hobo #2: Nice, nice.
–F train
A junkie hobo walks directly into the store’s window, almost breaking his nose. Seeing this, his homeless buddy responds, rather outraged: Again?!
–Dunkin Donuts, 23rd St. between Broadway & Park
Overheard by: Astrid Vanderpool
Girl: Well, Shakespeare thought women were more smart.
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: nappytee
Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Italian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Italian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek!
–30th & 3rd
