Wednesday One-liners Make the Cut

Woman: This block has the best garbage!

–2nd Avenue & 8th Street

Girl on cell: We’ve already got plans again for this weekend. I’m really excited about this guy; he’s great. He’s really driven, really ready to succeed. He’s a doctor…No, not in real life, on TV.

–57th & Lexington

Overheard by: Heather

White guy: That wasn’t the best day of my life, though. The best day was the day after my birthday when I recoverd my hard drive.

–Astoria party

Overheard by: Noah Starr

Man on cell: I like them shoes with the ruffle. The ones you wore to the Olive Garden that one time.

–Broadway & Prince

Girl: In theory…I was going to end that sentence with, “the dolphins will be OK.”

–7 train

Overheard by: Amado Angel

Lady: Well, he’s an ex-junkie, an alcoholic, mean-tempered, a practicing bisexual, and he has hepatitus C. But he’s a wonderful man and, as guys like that go, he does have great taste in jewelry.

–Midtown office

Posted on August 11, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Astoria, Computer, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Fashion, Favorites, Gadgets, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, People, Places, Pop Culture, Queens, Restaurants & Cafes, Soho, Topics, TV, Union Square and East Village, White People, Women

Brother Gets Around

Garage guy: Yo, how much is the subway now?
Dude: Two motherfuckin’ dollars.
Garage guy: Fuck that. A gallon of gas is less than that.
Dude: Dumbass, if you had a car, you would know that gas is more than $2.
Garage guy: Well, I don’t.
Dude: No shit, dumbass.
Garage guy: My bitch do…ha, ha, ha.

–Park Slope parking garage

Overheard by: Jim Chambers

Posted on July 18, 2025
Black People, Cars and Driving, Idiots, Money & Class, Park Slope, White People

Dog Shit is Bullshit (A NYC Short Story)

White woman: You see why I don’t live in Manhattan, especially on the Upper East Side.
White man: Why is that?
White woman: Too many freaking dogs. Everybody and their mother have a goddamn dog. The Upper East Side smells like dog shit and these people will not clean up after their dogs.
White man: I know what you mean. Too many dogs.
White woman: These people should be shot for not cleaning up after their dogs. They should not be allowed to own an animal if they can’t clean up after it. What, rich and snobbish people aren’t allowed to pick up dog crap, is that it?
White man: Well, at least the West Side is not so bad.
White woman: I’m not sure it is any better.

–80th & 3rd

Posted on July 14, 2025
Anger Management, Cleanliness, Death, Etiquette, Man's Best Friend, Men, Money & Class, Poop, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People, Women

NYC: One Fucking Big Happy Family

Drunk White hobo: Aw man, fucka that shit.
Hispanic deli chef: Man, you don’t have to say that to me. I am your brother.
Drunk White hobo: You’re right, brother…I am sorry, my brother.

–34th street deli between 8th & 9th

Black dude #1: Shut up, nigga.
Black dude #2: What the fuck. Don’t call me nigga. I’m Puerto Rican. Call me a spic.
Black dude #3: Stop using that offensive language! No wonder everyone on this train is staring at us. We are all God’s children. We all bleed the same. Aren’t we all god’s children?
White woman: Pardon?
Black dude #3: Aren’t we all god’s children?
White woman: Well, yes.
Black dude #3: You see!

–1 train

Posted on July 4, 2025
Black People, Delis, Druggies, Family Ties, Hobos, Race, Subway stations, platforms, etc., White People, Women

Crazy in the Head, Crazy in the Bed

Asian guy: She’s crazy. She’s obsessed with death!
Pudgy White guy: But she’s hot.
Black guy: So what?
Pudgy White guy: Yeah, she’s crazy…but she’s hot. They kind of balance each other out, you know?

–F train

Overheard by: emdashes

Boyfriend: What about kitty?
Girlfriend: Oh, I could eat kitty. No really, I could make a great stir-fry with the cat.
Boyfriend: You would eat my cat?
Girlfriend: Ah, that would be a great way to get at you: eat your cat.

–St. Mark’s Place

Posted on June 29, 2025
Animals & Nature, Asians, Beauty, Black People, Boyfriends, Crazies, Death, Ethnic Food, Food, Girlfriends, Manhattan, On the Subway, Relationships, Union Square and East Village, We Love Our Pets, White People

Except That The Jungle Is Natural

Gay Black guy #1: Oh my god, I sooo have jungle fever. Do I look good with him?
Gay Black guy #2: It’s so weird.
Gay Black guy #1: What, we don’t look good together?
Gay Black guy #2: No, yeah, it’s just that, he’s really white and you’re like, extra black, so it’s like really jungle fever.

–D train

Posted on June 5, 2025
Black People, Dating, On the Subway, Queers, Race, Subway stations, platforms, etc., White People

I Think She Was Hitting on Him

Bag lady: Lay down again so I can run over you.
White guy: Yeah…sure.
Bag lady: I said lay down again so I can hit you with this cart, you spic.
White guy: Have a nice day.
Bag lady: Nice day? I don’t want to have a nice day.

–59th & Lexington

Overheard by: Chris

Posted on May 16, 2025
Bag ladies, Nice People, Upper East Side, Violence, White People

A Daily NYC Scene (Telemundo Edition)

White girl: Excuse me…excuse me…Can I please get the fuck by?
Hispanic guy: You don’t have to push, bitch!
White girl: Well, if you would stop with all that Mira! Mira! Mira! shit and stop looking and start listening maybe you wouldn’t get yelled at like a dumbass!

–A train, 125th Street station

Overheard by: Dixie Mae

Posted on January 28, 2025
Biotechs, Etiquette, Insults, Latinos, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, White People

“Oh. So you’re Korean.”

White guy: You know, on the Tokyo subways they have people who push passengers onto trains. Uh, have you ever been to Tokyo?
Asian guy: No.
White guy: Oh. Are you Japanese?
Asian guy: No.
White guy: Oh. Where you from?
Asian guy: Queens.

–N train

Overheard by: Rich

Posted on December 14, 2024
Asians, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On the Subway, Queens, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Travel, White People

White People