White People

WASP Lady: The train service was really nice. Not at all like the subway.

–Midtown comics

Crazy lady: Excuse me! Girls, can you adopt a dog or a cat? You know that many animals need homes.
Chick #1: Oh, we’d love to, but we can’t have pets.
Chick #2: Yeah, our dorms don’t allow animals
Crazy lady: Oh, you’re in college?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Crazy lady: At the law school?
Chick #3: No, Hunter.
Crazy lady: I thought that Hunter was for the Blacks.

–23rd & Lexington

Overheard by: Kaitlyn

Black dude, yelling: I suck dick! I suck dick! I suck dick!
Brassy white chick walking past: Whatta you want, a medal? I suck dick too.

–Christopher & Bleecker

Weary black lady squinting at bag of meds: Could you read this to me?
Young white guy: It says, ‘Add two drops to each eye twice a day.‘
Weary black lady: Thanks. You married?
Young white guy: Uh, yeah.

–Duane Reade, 23rd & 6th

Older man hugging younger man: Wassup, my nigga?
Younger man: Dad, cut it out. We’re white.

–Leonard & Lafayette St

Overheard by: Big Larry

White girl to subway clerk: I just swiped my card and it is saying “insignificant fare”.
Subway clerk, smiling: It is saying that?
White girl: Is “insignificant” even a word?

–Clark Street

Young black man outside barber shop: Hey, lady!
White lady, digging through her purse: Oh, hi…
Young black man, sitting and gesturing: What you digging for? My heart is right here!

–Jamaica Ave & Parsons

Overheard by: Lady Walking By

Thin white guy, handing out show fliers: You like white people?
Huge black guy wearing leather jacket: Why, yes I do!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Hanna

White mom: Does this train stop at Canal Street?
Black guy: Yeah, it goes there, it goes there. It’s not going there anytime soon. ‘Cause you know what the MTA stands for? Might Take Awhile.

–E train

White guy #1: I was listening to Celia Cruz.
Spanish guy: Yeah, I’ve been to Santa Cruz.
White guy #2: What? Santa Claus?

–48th & 6th