Conductor: This is a Queens-bound G train.
Girl #1: This train is going to Queens?
Girl #2: But we’re going to Greenpoint!
Woman: This goes to Greenpoint.
Girl #2: Greenpoint is in Queens?
Girl #3: I thought it was in Manhattan.
–G train
Overheard by: p
Hobo: Do you have the time?
Guy: Quarter past seven.
Hobo: Do you think we’ll make it?
Guy: To where?
Hobo: To wherever we’re going.
Guy: Yes.
–D train
Overheard by: Dan Cunningham
Guy #1: Man, it’s cold in here.
Guy #2: That’s cause your momma’s pussy is so loose.
–A train
Overheard by: Chris Harris
Chick: Okay guys, I’m going to subway surf in heels. I haven’t done it in so long, I hope I don’t fail.
Old man: You will fail.
Chick: Oh…
Old man: 75% of your weight is on your toes, only 25% is on your heel. You will fall. That’s from 25 years of martial arts experience.
–R train
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
Walkie-talkie: Need backup on 49th & Broadway…
Cop #1: 49th & Broadway! Isn’t that us?
Cop #2: No, they’ve already got someone there.
Cop #1: Yeah, us…You’re an idiot.
–D train
Overheard by: Nate Luce
Woman: I love to cycle myself. You might not believe it, but I’m very good at it.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. I come from the West, where I used to ride really strenuous courses.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. And you know, if they grew some mountains in New Jersey or something, I could do the same here.
–1 train
Guy: I think we should get Indian food for dinner.
Girl: Indian food? What do they sell? Buffalo and maize?
–W train
Overheard by: Brent Jordan
Girl: I heard that it costs more to execute someone than to keep them in jail for 40 years.
Guy: Yeah, I heard that too. You know, because of the electricity.
–F train
Overheard by: Amber
HS boy #1: Okay, who’s Pavlov?
HS boy #2: I don’t know, it doesn’t ring a bell.
–N train
Overheard by: Tania D, who “almost died laughing”
Guy: What language is that?
Girl #1: French.
Guy: Where are you girls from?
Girl #1: Morocco.
Guy: Oh, it’s really beautiful there. Really wealthy too, right?
Girl #2: That’s Monaco.
–Elevator, Lexington between 31st & 32nd
Hipster guy: So where are you from originally?
Cabbie: West Africa.
Hipster guy: Oh, really? Where?
Cabbie: Africous.
Hipster guy: Where?
Cabbie: Afri-cous*.
Hipster guy: Wow. I thought I knew all the countries in Africa.
Cabbie: Yes, you know it. It is beautiful.
–Astoria cab
*Ivory Coast through a West African accent.
Overheard by: Martha K, also in the cab
Girl #1: Seriously, don’t ask me to go dancing if we’re not in South America.
Girl #2: Ha, ha. Yeah. What about Europe?
Girl #1: Eh…
Girl #2: Like, Spain.
Girl #1: Yeah, I guess Spain. And maybe Morocco.
Girl #2: Morocco is in Africa.
Girl #1: Pretend like I didn’t just say that.
Girl #2: Now I understand why you dropped out of college!
–1 train
Overheard by: h. goldmine
