Girl #1: He’s coming into town to visit me this weekend…but he says he doesn’t wanna leave the house except to go eat sushi.
Girl #2: Ew, sushi.
Girl #1: I know, right? He expects me to eat that shit? I’m not a fucking polar bear.
–7 train
Overheard by: rachel
Girl: Hey, fancy seeing you here! Where do you work?
Guy: Wall Street.
Girl: Where are you coming from?
Guy: A business meeting. I’m so wasted!
–C train
Hobo: Oh, lady got some nice threads. Those be Gucci or Calvin Klein or some shit like that?
Preggers: No sir, these threads be maternity.
–R train
Suit: Can you move a little?
Teen girl: I can’t. My hair’s stuck in the door.
Suit: Oh. That’s a good reason. Okay.
–L train
A black HS girl pushes her way past a white yuppie to get off the train.
Yuppie: Whoa, slow down, Boniva!
Girl: Shut the fuck up, Opie!
–L train
Girlfriend: It’s just that I give you pristine vagina and you give me used books.
Boyfriend: Your gratitude is staggering.
–D train
Guy: These train drivers have to be suicidal. They spend all day underground in the dark.
Girl: Yeah, or they’re just vampires.
–N Train
Overheard by: Owen J
Conductor: This is a Queens-bound G train.
Girl #1: This train is going to Queens?
Girl #2: But we’re going to Greenpoint!
Woman: This goes to Greenpoint.
Girl #2: Greenpoint is in Queens?
Girl #3: I thought it was in Manhattan.
–G train
Overheard by: p
Hobo: Do you have the time?
Guy: Quarter past seven.
Hobo: Do you think we’ll make it?
Guy: To where?
Hobo: To wherever we’re going.
Guy: Yes.
–D train
Overheard by: Dan Cunningham
Guy #1: Man, it’s cold in here.
Guy #2: That’s cause your momma’s pussy is so loose.
–A train
Overheard by: Chris Harris
Chick: Okay guys, I’m going to subway surf in heels. I haven’t done it in so long, I hope I don’t fail.
Old man: You will fail.
Chick: Oh…
Old man: 75% of your weight is on your toes, only 25% is on your heel. You will fall. That’s from 25 years of martial arts experience.
–R train
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
