Hobo: Stop making the fucking announcements twice, you cocksuckers. Fucking close the doors, don’t just keep them opening and shutting again! You muthafuckas! I need to fucking get home! I need to fucking feed my fish, yo! Fish need to eat too! Now have you seen those pigeons around the city? They carry mad disease…Where are you from, muthafucka? Pennsylvania? Oh, you must be a smart son of a bitch! Oh fuck! Close the doors you muthafucka! I need to feed my fish! Suck my balls!
The doors finally close.
Hobo: It’s about fucking time! We’re riding slower than if I was on a turtle’s back! And local stops too! My fucking fish are gonna fucking die! I should just make a goddamn goldfish sandwich with mayonnaise!
A Black guy comes through the car doors from the car behind and observes the hobo.
Black guy: Oh damn. Two wackos on one train? That’s too much.
Hobo: Close the door, please…cocksucker…Por. Favor.
–E train
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
