NYU girl #1: So when you were in Israel did you hook up with any hot Israeli guys?
NYU girl #2: Yeah, he was this really hot army officer. But he was so aggressive…I think he though I was Gaza or something.
–Washington Square Park
NYU girl #1: So when you were in Israel did you hook up with any hot Israeli guys?
NYU girl #2: Yeah, he was this really hot army officer. But he was so aggressive…I think he though I was Gaza or something.
–Washington Square Park
Drinking college co‐ed: It was like, my brain shut off, and my genitals went ‘woo‐hoo!’
–60th & Amsterdam
Guy on cell: Sorry, I couldn’t make it. I was tied up. Hopefully, next time it’ll be you.
–116th & Broadway
Gay black man to black woman: Girl, I know the perfect guy for you. He will beast fuck you. He will fuck you like a white girl.
–Greenwich & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Artie
Black guy: I’ll do the wheelbarrow on the first date, I don’t give a fuck!
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: biz
Girl in bathroom stall: How many guys can I sleep with in a week and not be a slut?
–Soundz Lounge, Lasalle St & Broadway
Girl: I wondered why you kept talking about pony play!
–Elevator, 168th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Peter Pecker
Well‐dressed man on cellphone: He must have had a dildo in his pants, and she grabbed onto that. It’s the only way they could have worked it.
–La Giancoma, second intermission, Metropolitan Opera
Overheard by: Schroeder
Drunk girl on bike #1: How’s your nose?
Drunk girl on bike #2: How’s your neck?
Drunk girl on bike #1: Hey, all I’m saying is that I’d rather get a hickey from a random boy I don’t know than break my nose by falling off my bike. (falls off her bike) Shiiiiiiiiiiiit.
Girl #2: How’s your fucking nose now, whore?
–NYU
Queer: … And he had a huge dick.
Mortified fag hag covering her face: You can’t say that in public! People can hear you!
Queer: Yeah, we didn’t actually hook up. I just wanted to embarrass you.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: someone at the next table
Young girl #1: The guy hasn’t called me in, like, a week…
Young girl #2: His loss.
Young girl #1: But I didn’t even get to hook up with him!
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: MattyG
Girl: Well, she’s newly single so…
Guy with baby: So you know what she’s looking for.
Girl: Well, she already hooked up with a bartender in a broom closet.
–6th Ave & 19th St
Overheard by: Daniel
Bimbette #1: Cancun is just a place for girls to go to on Spring break and be the whores that they really are.
Bimbette #2: Oh my God, I know! We should go there next year!
Bimbette #1: Totally!
–45th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Twiggy
Teenage bride‐to‐be on cell: …yeah. But, no, I’m totally ready to walk across the aisle.
–Target, South Bronx
Overheard by: so this is the bronx
Suit: You expect me to spend the rest of my life with only one woman? One woman? One godforsaken woman?
–42nd St & Madison
Hula hoop guy to tourist couple: Sir! I’ll show you! You don’t have to do it, but hula hoops have saved a lot of marriages!
–Washington Square Park
Old woman to imaginary friend: I’d make a great wife, mothafucka!
–F train
Overheard by: Trying Not to Laugh
Girl: Can I do your brother at one of your weddings?
–Monitor St, Brooklyn
Young woman on cell: Well yeah, but he didn’t sleep with your bridesmaids.
–82nd & Lex
Man on cell: Ok, fine! You want to get married?
–Upper West Side
French guy: You know, I like to make happy with the pretty girls, but not the so pretty girls.
–Rivington & Orchard
Overheard by: Collin
Guy: If she had broken up with me before the end of the school year, I would have had a shot at nailing all of her friends.
–Thompson & Houston
Overheard by: Ryan
20‐ish man: So, I used to use the laundry on Driggs, but that place is dirty. Two weeks ago I started coming here–
30‐ish woman: –I don’t give a shit. I just wanna have sex with you before I gotta get the kids and my husband comes home.
20‐ish man: Okay.
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
