Girl on cell: So, you know, I was just lying there, like with my face to the wall and stuff and he just whips out his dick and starts hitting me in the back of the head with it.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Zac Stone
Girl on cell: So, you know, I was just lying there, like with my face to the wall and stuff and he just whips out his dick and starts hitting me in the back of the head with it.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Zac Stone
Male 9 to 5-er: And, you know, they’re all dwarves… But I wouldn’t be embarrassed to go out with them.
–Federal Plaza
Cigarette-voiced JAP: Yeah, he was lame. But I only fake-dated him in, like, eighth grade.
–54th & 11th
Hipster on cell: If you sleep together afterwards, it’s a date.
–Manhattan Ave, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Miss Heather
Thug: Yo, the rule is, if you take her out to dinner and a movie she has to suck your cock. That’s the rule.
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: Liza
Girl on cell: Look, Peter, I’m not saying that I hate you. It’s just that you fucking annoy me so much that I’d rather eat my own spleen than go out with you again.
–Starbucks, 45th & 6th
Overheard by: always turning up my IPOD
Girl on cell: No, she didn’t dump him on you. She dumped him and then he got on you.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Steve O
20-something guy on cell: My girlfriend's birthday is tomorrow. (pause) I don't know. Maybe a bong.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Steve Popovich
Girl to friend: I just wanted to hook up with him because we had the same birthday.
–8th St & 5th Ave
Rent cast member (shouting over shoulder): I turn 34 on Friday, I'm old but at least I made it past Jesus.
–Nederlander Theatre
Woman arguing loudly with her mother in the laundromat: My 30th birthday is gonna be ruined if we don't go to the wax museum!
–4th Ave & 14th St, Brooklyn
Guy handing out New York Post: Grab your free copy of New York Post, it's free, it's free! Oh, and happy birthday to me today, thank you very much for remembering it! Oh, what a lovely day…
–42nd & Madison
Overheard by: Eve
Guy #1: I kind of remember her from school. What’s up with her?
Guy #2: I’ve been hanging out with her a bit recently. Let’s just say she likes thin mints and I’m a girl scout.
–Times Square
Chick on cell: It's all about the eyeball lick. Tell her.
–59th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: aenigma
NYPD cop: I would rather lick the street than ever smell your fart again.
–Forsyth St & E Houston St
Overheard by: Dave-o
Teen girl to friends: He's so gross! Seriously, I'd rather lick my cat's asshole than hook up with that guy!
–Barnes & Noble, Bayside
Guy at bar to friend: I can't believe you married a woman who won't lick your asshole.
–Ale House, MacDougal St
Random woman: Why do you always insist on licking my elbow?
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jana
Fashionista #1: Honestly, I think he would take whatever comes his way. He just wants to get laid.
Fashionista #2: And what? She's easy?
Fashionista #1: You know those European girls. She has an open-pussy-policy.
–E 86th St
Girl #1: I hope if I ever go back to London, I run into that French guy I hooked up with last time.
Girl #2: Well, maybe when you go back you’ll meet a new French guy.
Girl #1: Looking specifically to meet French guys in London? I dunno, that seems like looking to buy a bra in a hardware store.
Girl #2: Yeah, but imagine you find that perfect B-cup in amongst the drills and such.
–C train
Guy: Why won’t you spend time with me?
Chick: Because I don’t want to date you, remember? I don’t like you.
Guy: C’mon, let’s go away for the weekend. Let’s go to St. John’s — I’ll pay.
Chick: That would make me a whore.
Guy: So, let’s go.
–Spring & Lafayette
Overheard by: S
Girl #1: My friends all say I should hook up with him because then I can say that I hooked up with someone from Poland.
Girl #2: You mean Portland?
Girl #1: Oh, right, I always get those two mixed up!
–46th & 7th
Frat guy #1: If there are no rules at this place, could I go have sex with that hostess?
Frat guy #2: Dude, I think that would be rape.
–Outback Steakhouse, 23rd & 6th
