Kid presses call button on commuter hotline phone.

Father: Why did you do that?
Son: I’m sorry. I didn’t know what it was.
Father: If you do that again the police will arrest you.
Son: Really?
Father: Yes, George Bush will come and take you to jail.
Son: What?
Father: He will kill you and put your picture on the Wall of Memories [Ground Zero feature].

–World Trade Center PATH station

Teen girl: Wow, look at the men’s room line and then look at the women’s room line. It’s so much longer.
Fat woman: Yeah. Shit, I’ll grow a penis.

–Shubert Theater, W. 44th Street

Overheard by: Emily G.

Guy: God damn it! Where were you? I waited an hour for you to show up! Were you on a coffee break or what?
Bus driver: Sir, that’s not possible, the lead bus was only ten minutes ahead of me. I watched him pull out of the depot.
Guy: Screw you! You guys are the real terrorists! You’re what Homeland Security is trying to protect us against!

–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island

Businessguy #1 If I were gay I would change my name to Paul.
Businessguy #2: Why Paul? I would go with something more Latin.

–A train

Overheard by: Cory Agid

Black man: “And he kept on beating up niggers until he was 37!”

— On the Subway

Man (to hipstress): You should get a tattoo of Ben Franklin.

–22nd & Park Ave South

Overheard by: Matt Law

Man: My friend asked me if they were shooting a movie, and I said,
“Yeah, it’s called Bombscare.”

–Astor Place

Hobo: Spare some change for the fucking poor? Yeah, that’s right, you fucking chinks. Fucking slanty-eyed flat-assed bitches! Suck my ass!
Asian woman: He said my butt was flat!

–114th & Broadway

Little kid: Mommy…Mommmmmyyyyyy! I have got to poop!
Mom: Would you please just crap in your pants and quit screaming about it already!

–9th between 1st & A

Overheard by: Katie

Suit #1: You know what movie they’re filming over there?
Suit #2: I think it’s a snuff film.

–Maiden & Water

Overheard by: Angry Oscillations