Girl: …anyway, he was making money hand over foot–
Guy: Isn’t it “hand over fist”?
Girl: It’ll be “fist up your ass” if you don’t stop interrupting me.
–Starbucks, Spring & Crosby
Overheard by: CS
Girl: …anyway, he was making money hand over foot–
Guy: Isn’t it “hand over fist”?
Girl: It’ll be “fist up your ass” if you don’t stop interrupting me.
–Starbucks, Spring & Crosby
Overheard by: CS
Girl: …I mean, I don’t care. As long as he doesn’t hit her in my house!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Errin D.
Drunk thug: Yo, fuck Lil’ Bow Wow! If I get the chance I’ll cut that nigga…with my MetroCard! And then I’ll swipe him through.
–Last Exit, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mr. Brojangles
Jewess: If Miriam acts that way again to me, I am going to slap her pussy bald.
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Caroline Kelley
Man: Just you watch, she’s gonna cut him!
–3 train
Man: I don’t know, he only dates guys in jail.
–33rd & Madison
Overheard by: Missy Gartner
Black kid: They’re going to get me for conspiracy! That’s what they did to my brother! He’s spending 8 years in jail for conspiracy…firearms…half an ounce of cocaine…crack cocaine.
–B train
Overheard by: Samantha G
Black chick: Yeah, I broke my sister’s knee with a baseball bat.
White chick: Wow, me and my sister had some bad fights but your’s top all our fights. You must really hate each other.
Black chick: No, I did it out of love.
White chick: What do you mean?
Black chick: My sister’s in the Army Reserve. They called her unit up to go to Iraq. I hit her on purpose so she wouldn’t have to go. I had to hit her twice to make sure her knee was broken.
–Tillary Street, Downtown Brooklyn
Crazy lady: I hate my fucking mother and I want to kill her. I want to watch her bleed. She is a fat lazy bitch. She was nothing but a container!
Guy: God will not forgive you if you kill your mother. Can you also keep it down please?
–PATH train
Overheard by: JMK
Girl on cell: If you beat somebody up real bad and they press charges, how much time can you get for that?…No, if they press charges against you.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Katie C
Boy, 5: Lady, I’m gonna cut off your head and feed it to my family.
–14th & 2nd
Overheard by: djlindee
Hobo #1: 100 years ago, America was full of real men! Real men who carried guns and wouldn’t be afraid to shoot you!…Hey baby, what stop you lookin’ for?
Hobo #2: She don’t like you.
Hobo #1: Yeah she does! I know everything about women! Ya just don’t marry them!
–53rd Street station
Overheard by: Dan
Lady: I come here every weekend. It’s my church.
–Manhattan Mall women’s bathroom
Overheard by: Dolly Lowenstein
Guy: She became a Republican to spite our father.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Woman: I really hate Bush. I can’t stand him. The world would be such a better place if he just died…But then there’s Cheney…
–6 train
Drunk guy: You wait right here, I’m going home to get my gun, I’ll be right back!
–23rd between 8th & 9th
Guy: This is the guy I got arrested with in San Antonio for pissing on the Alamo.
–LES party
Overheard by: Caz
Black guy: It really tore me up to have to beat that nigga with a chair.
–Times Square
Drunk: Fuck getting arrested! I don’t care! But my point is this…
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Guy: See, Francie? See how it’s all pink around the nail? That’s from jabbing my thumb into that guy.
–48th & 1st
Guy on bike: …and she said, “What are you going to do, shoot me?” and that was the last thing she ever said.
–Forest Hills
Old White lady: Oh no, I didn’t get any blood on me, I stayed away from the action. I was the one doing the shooting.
–Aaron Davis Hall, Convent Avenue
Guy on cell: You’re in Florida? You’re driving back right? Get me a nine!…I don’t give shit where you buy it from, get me a nine milimeter. For real, all those southern states you’re driving through, you can get one from somewhere!
–DeMarco’s Pizza, Houston Street
Caribbean guy: Hey, I’m looking for a Jason Ghi-ambi baseball bat.
Store guy: An autographed bat?
Caribbean guy: I’m not paying fifty dollars for no bat.
Store guy: What do you need the bat for?
Caribbean guy: I just really need to bash someone’s head in, you know what I’m saying?
Store guy: You don’t need a Jason Giambi bat for that. Any of these bats can be used for bashing someone in the head.
–Triangle Sports, Flatbush
Overheard by: Owen
Guy #1: You’ll figure it out when you move here…it’s like, I opened my first electic bill and said, “Wow, I really live in New York now!”
Guy #2: Right, it’s like when you’re killing someone with an axe, and you’re just hacking, and hacking, and hacking, and some blood splashes on your face and you’re like, “Oh yeah, I’m murdering someone!”
–E train
Overheard by: Kid W
Woman: Well, you know what I think? I think that the girlfriend has to die.
–Hudson Street elevator
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Guy on cell: Yeah, the dude got shot in the face. Isn’t that awesome?
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: toon
