Wednesday One-liners Run Afoul of the Law

Black guy: It really tore me up to have to beat that nigga with a chair.

–Times Square

Drunk: Fuck getting arrested! I don’t care! But my point is this…

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Todd Seavey

Guy: See, Francie? See how it’s all pink around the nail? That’s from jabbing my thumb into that guy.

–48th & 1st

Guy on bike: …and she said, “What are you going to do, shoot me?” and that was the last thing she ever said.

–Forest Hills

Old White lady: Oh no, I didn’t get any blood on me, I stayed away from the action. I was the one doing the shooting.

–Aaron Davis Hall, Convent Avenue

Guy on cell: You’re in Florida? You’re driving back right? Get me a nine!…I don’t give shit where you buy it from, get me a nine milimeter. For real, all those southern states you’re driving through, you can get one from somewhere!

–DeMarco’s Pizza, Houston Street