Lady: Girl, or all the hairs growin’ out of my face, I’d take your wart in a second.
–Bally Sports Club, Madison & 43rd
Overheard by: Heather Hunter
Trendy boy: God, I feel so bad farting next to all these really expensive cars.
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Lindsay
Dude on cell: …so I got into this fight last night and totally whaled on the dude…totally kicked his ass! His nose was bleeding and everything!….OK, I’ll see ya later. Peace.
–Coffee Shop, Union Square West
Guy #1: It was artsy, girls don’t like that.
Guy #2: How is it artsy? He ripped off a guy’s nuts!
–Loews 34th St. men’s room
Overheard by: Dan Dickinson
Dude: I thought it was great. Very visually arresting. I liked how they stayed true to the visual style of the comic book. Of course I say that having never read the comic book.
–Regal Cinemas Union Square
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Woman #1: Excuse me, does the N train stop at Central Park?
Woman #2: Lady, go ask a fucking crystal ball, or learn how to read a damn subway map.
–Union Square station
Overheard by: Craig D
A truck driver is parked on the side of the road, honking at what appears to be nothing at all. A female pedestrian shoots him a dirty look.
Truck driver: Nobody’s honking at you, you dumb bitch!
–Bay Ridge
Tourist: Which way is the Empire State Building?
Newspaper vendor: What do I look like, a fuckin’ road map?
–outside Grand Central
Overheard by: Dork
A trendy guy walked out into oncoming traffic, forcing an SUV to slam on the brakes. The driver screamed out of his open window: The hell you think you are, my hood ornament?
–40th & 7th
Intellectual: Dude, after September 11th, we had to go kill somebody. Someone had to die.
–Midtown office
Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper
Guy on cell: …so then he just punched me, yeah! Just punched me right in the face. Well I figured I oughta get dressed and leave her room, yeah, he was pissed…No, she’s his only kid.
–Empire State Building
20-something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies.
–Starbucks, West Village
Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies
Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings!
–Broadway
Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I'm unstoppable! I'm like an ox!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
NYU girl: My mother was like, "what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?" and I was like, "what wouldn't you do with a giant inflatable turkey?"
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Mickey
TSA agent #1 pointing at escalator: … And she fell right around here, her hair gets caught right there… And it just rips her scalp right off.
TSA agent #2: Oh, dear god…
–Terminal 4, JFK
Library staff: Was there brain damage?
Library work-study: Er, no.
Library staff: Well, then! How badly can you get hurt by getting hit in the head with a beer bottle?
–Fordham University Library
Young thug to ASPCA rep with Pit Bull: Yo, is that a Pit Bull? Can I get her?
ASPCA rep: Yes, she is up for adoption, her name is…
Young thug: Yo, that's cool, cuz I like sell weed and shit, and I need a pit.
ASPCA rep: Uhh… (turns and walks away)
Young thug: I ain't gonna beat her.
–Union Square, ASPCA Day
Overheard by: Somebody should beat him.
Chick: Since we broke up you’ve been smoking a lot.
Guy: Yeah…
Chick: You shouldn’t smoke.
Guy: You shouldn’t suck so much dick but you don’t hear me criticize you five times a day.
Chick: [Mouth wide open in shock.]Guy: To start you should try closing your mouth!
–B Train
Overheard by: another now single smoker
